Stars

I'm staying up late again just thinking of stars - wishing, pondering, and dreaming awake. After all, stars are the most usual guests during night time. I'm glad they're there tonight.

Tonight, I can't explain if I'm excited, happy, or good because I don't have any reason to be so, but it's still what I feel. I don't know what's ahead of me yet I feel the excitement. I have lots of stacked-up things to do yet I do not worry. I should really be worrying but I find myself flying with the clouds in the grey sky.

Strength is coming as a new season enters. The season of eerie chill has now ended. The joy it has brought, though founded in gloom, is now just part of yesterday. The brightness of this new day is approaching even at midnight. It brings joy and gladness. It brings peace and silence with wisdom.

I'm in an entirely different place right now and all my comforts have come to a shattering. Though I might not know entirely where I am, I believe, though, that I will not be moved. I will be seen through. I will emerge as a victor. I'll prevail.

I now exhale.

Here I am still awake
Still up late at night
November's days I now forsake
A new season's a-flight

It's cold yet it warms my heart
The gloomy chill has bade
Lights are now out at part
A spark inside is made

I'm looking at the stars again
Wishing free, I'm wondering
Killing time with no gain
I ponder a new beginning

All of a sudden where I stand
I find myself in paradise
In the usual, nothing grand
I'm caught up in surprise

All right now I hear aloud
Is the strumming of guitar
Lull in peace, in a cloud
My hopes, my cares at par

Now I'm back at free verses with rhymes yet with no strict counts of syllables.

They Dance

They dance and groove in the light
The beat set free, all set loose
Take a look at them tonight
Neon clothes, in frolic shoes

In the distance as I watch
Shadows, motions, frames in rage
My eyes wander just to catch
Apparitions, fire on stage

They dance and shout in all strength
As the speakers kicks aloud
Their gasps turn to heavy breath
As they mingle 'long the crowd

The moon, the sky they both fade
Eager bodies cannot wait
The men, for sure, knows their trade
Here awake as if not late

They dance and enjoy the height
Smiles in faces now engraved
But here I am, lone tonight
In the dark, a pit I paved

The Dead

As I reflected on who I am, a thought entered me. I felt deep silence despite the noise and the music playing on my ears. It seems like my eyes flew that I suddenly looked through the eyes of the dead. The dead are to be envied. They are able to enjoy silence, peace, and bliss as they leave this life. They are no more yet they are not affected.

The following passages are results of that meditated thought.

The peaceful. The undisturbed.
The unhurt. The pacified.
The silent. The arbitrer.
The conscious no more. The dead.

The rested. The sound slumber.
The careless. The unbiased.
The frozen. The withdrawn soul.
The one fortunate. The dead.

The first bid. The precedent.
The ended. The immediate.
The goodbye. The departure.
The sole-forsaker. The dead.

The at-hand. The coming soon.
The certain. The imminent.
The horror. The apprehend.
The last catch of breath. The dead.

The repeat. The new reborn.
The juncture. The intertwined.
The raptured. The paradised.
The non-suffering. The dead.

Momentary

This we have is momentary
Our devotion slips, flies away
Happy now and later gloomy
'Cause no matter what, we can't stay

This festiveness I have inside
Might be here now and later gone
Our victory, things that give pride
Is uncertain, hides like the sun

But I've learned one thing, how to choose
Things you can keep for a lifetime
We're not little, no more, to lose
It's high season for our sublime

A momentary universe
I thought I had no other course
But then, these hands, creates my verse
To remove regret, the remorse

Remove these feather wings of mine
For they're for babes and not for lads
No need of cribs nor river's gush
To fly me to heavenly pads

USG - Waste of Time (Grabbed)

This is a very interesting post. You may want to read through the comments if you want to.

Nakakatawa ang SC. Nag plebiscite sila tapos hindi pala nila alam kng ano ang definition ng 50%+1. Obvious naman, 50%+1 is referring to the number of (yes) votes made by the members of the Student Council which includes the undergraduates.

So approximately, they need 5,000 or 4,500 and after the extension and extension and extension gusto na naman nila ng extension kasi hindi sila umabot.

Nakakatawa dahil "educating the students about the issue" daw ang problema. Eh kanino bang trabaho yun? Hindi ba sa inyo? Wala daw pakialam ang mga estudyante, well, totoo, wala talaga lalo na sa mga walang kwentang issue. May pakialam ang mga estudyante and nakialam sila kung ating matatandaan sa isyu ng paglilipat ng free day mula sa friday papuntang monday.


The Student Council has failed to educate the students about this issue.
The Plebiscite is a success but the decision is NO because it did NOT reach 50%+1.


Yung mga mukha niyo mga atat na atat sa pagbabago na hindi kailangan. Wag niyo na kaming lokohin at higit sa lahat wag niyo ng ipilit.

Tao ang dapat palitan, hindi ang sistema.
SC LINISIN, TRAPO ALISIN.

Taken from: http://zyonethelyone.multiply.com/journal/item/116/USG_-_Waste_of_Time_UPDATED

The Stranger

We never knew forever
When we were joined together
We see beauty in the vain
We can only see the gain

We can never grow farther
Nor apart from each other
We stay along all the while
During the day we just smile

Feel each other's company
Cry but still in harmony
That's ever since when we've met
Except this eve when we've left

Tonight is way much diff'rent
For my world, my truth now bent
Was filled, like thirst with water
But now I'm blind, I stutter

Friendship, dear, I tagged you with
Still no sense, I empt'ly breathe
Now I wonder who you are
Cos here right now, you're so far

In my bed I ask myself
I check the books in the shelf
Yet I can't find the answer
To who you are, a stranger

Maybe now's not the right time
To dabble and to clean grime
But it goes down to one fact
We're found on ground too abstract

FRIENDSTER UPDATE!!! :)

THERE IS NO HACKER NAMED h4xor-nytmare. Stop passing that message around.

What really happened:
From the Friendster Forums, http://www.friendster.com/forums/post/list/10/345

We're aware of the problem that some users are having with missing friends. We experienced a major power outage the other day, that we're still recovering from.

We are actively working on resolving the problem with missing friends. Rest assured that no friends have actually been lost -- even though it may appear so on the website! The problem should be fixed within the next 24 hours. We apologize for this inconvenience.

Friendster Team

For more info:
from Network World; http://www.networkworld.com/community/node/35221

By mhalligan on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 12:20pm.

A friend of mine just called me to tell me that QTS's Sunnyvale had a major power event today. Details are slim, but apparently it was an entire site outage. He told me that he's about 50th in line to get access to the facility right now. Due to this outage, Friendster is offline right now.

PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD BEFORE PEOPLE GO AND DELETE THEIR ACCOUNTS!

A Short Meta-Fictional Joke

I am Matthew (the persona speaking). I had this friend that once sent me a text message. The conversation goes as follows:

Friend: Uyy, Matthew, can I ask what your number is? It's just that I've changed my number already. This is your friend, .

Me: .

(Conversation ends).

Now, the twist is that I do not know whether I'll see it as something funny or scary eh. Hahaha. :p

Note: Well, this is just meta-fiction. That means that I'm reflecting it to real life and mixing fiction in it. Hahahah. :p

Grabbed: The Naughty In The Nerdy :))

And we thought that the cheesy lines made popular recently is all there is? Well, read on! :))

1. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.

2. Your skin is so smooth.... like endoplasmic reticulum.

3. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

4. You're so hot you denature my proteins.

5. You’re like telophase, I admire your cleavage.

6. You must be auxin, because you’re causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

7. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.

8. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract.

9. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.

10. It’s a good thing you've got evaporative cooling, cause I’m going to make you sweat.

11. Hey baby, want to form a synapse with me and exchange neurotransmitters?

12. If I were a Shwann cell, I'd squeeze around your axon and give you a fast action potential.

13. Want to be my substrate/enzyme?

14. Hey baby, want to form a zygote?

15. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?

16. My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you.

17. If you were a concentration gradient I'd go down on you.

18. If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

19. Girl whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

20. I want to stick to u like glue-cose.

21. You must be the one for me, since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.

22. My hypothalamus must be secreting serotonin because baby, I want you!

23. Hey baby, can I be your enzyme? because my active site is dying for a chemical reaction.

24. You give me more jolt than a mitochondria!

My Stand of Controversy

I guess that this is the best place to place my stand although I am entitled to the right of expressing my concerns regarding school. I'm not really against the USG itself. It's just that I'm against the particular issues about it that were discussed (although not that much because the publicity focused on its positive sides alone) about the USG (Link: http://catch2t12.multiply.com/journal/item/3/The_Disadvantages_of_USG).

Here's my stand on the USG, particularly based on the link above although in a different format:

It doesn't balance the boat. There was no enlightenment at all. There were just vague claims and defenses that lead to the path of nowhere except violence, force, and complications, and not of peace, bliss, nor productive governance (or more correctly, service).

Too much emphasis on the USG being the ideal student government structure has already been made to the point that there is only blind and forced obedience, making it appear as if the USG is all that seems best with all the beautiful words without even enough supporting data to prove the claims. All the flowery descriptions about the USG, on their own, aren’t EVER enough. Many students even vote for it without full knowledge of what it's really all about. It is even a torture to the student body that the Student Council demanded the students to vote on the USG without even enough effort of informing them of what the USG really is in a way that it’s not a sensationalized commercial or TV ad. There were just, in my knowledge and in my enthusiastic efforts of updating myself about it, some late multiply posts, vague yahoogroup threads, and some minor publicity stunts promoting it. I will always remember how my Philosophy professor always told us how the ad that “Papaya and Calamansi makes you whiter as it was said by Juday in her beauty-soap advertisement” was a deception. It was said that “Papaya makes you whiter, and Calamansi too – how much more, then, would the effect be if they are combined”. He, even of superior knowledge, insists nonchalantly about it being invalid. Much is the same to the USG.

Going about with just saying that the LA reps have devoted a few months in studying the USG doesn't mean that it's all polished up. We can wait all time for a useless meeting and not be able to come up at anything. Time is never a basis. Data and valid information is. In the world of research that we are in today, to say that something is factual requires real and concerete supporting evidences. Without it, it will appear as if the claims are only cooked-up. Data and information is what matters most.

The real duty of the representatives that we have today is to SERVE and protect the students and their rights, and nobody else's selfish interest. Aren’t those the center of the campaigns? The representatives, too, must, at the least, be (the ones who are) able to present substantial, concrete, complete, and detailed information about the studies, researches, findings, and other related documents essential about the USG to the student body. I believe that what LA reps could best do to help and serve the student body (and not anybody else's selfish interests) is to present and report to the student body what they have so-called studied and deliberated about, and not babble about their own subjective opinions. We have those too.

It seems as if only the LA reps know the real deal about the USG. All these dark parts of the USG just make it appear like the representatives has their own hidden agendas protected by flowery fronts. There are many positive claims about the USG without even enough concrete data or evidence and examination presented to the student body. Some even claim that there is concrete evidence, but where are they? Now, how about the dark areas of USG? If the students do not know anything about them, that darkness will only, in the future, eat us. As the moral maxim says, "our mistakes can never be corrected by another set of mistakes". It appears as if we should only follow the things based on what others say, or more popularly, what “they” say. But, you see, as we all know that the students are involved, they need concrete data about the USG and what had happened in the few months of the so-called deliberations about the USG too. Presenting them to us will help a big bunch.

Also, not because the LA reps are the formal (the formalities) reps of the student bodies, they're the only ones entitled to the info discussed during the LA delibs, and to decision and opinion. We want and need that info too. We have minds to think with too. The student body isn’t a collection of stupid people. They have brains that work. They obviously can understand. If they couldn't so, the ones in the student council, being students too, would be, in no offense, stupid. We don't need "yayas" to feed us our meals anymore. They only need to prepare our food and we can do the eating on our own. Soon enough, we are on our way to preparing our own food, and with that, we can select what we want to eat. We also do not need anybody to tell us what beautiful is. Present a particular object, and with our own gift of perception, we can judge whether an object is beautiful or not. Believe us. We can.

The students deserve the real deal. The students deserve to know the real info -- the black, the white, and the gray parts too. All of the students have the right to credible information. That means that the information presented to them shouldn't be at all distorted, manipulated, or bent by any power. It is our right to know everything about the USG. Failure to do so is a violation of our student rights.

I hope that this illusion of balance be abolished and dispelled soon along with the surface of the truth. We cry out for real credible information (and not opinion). We cry out for our rights.

Teens Are Dreamy

I Need To Remember

This time, I'm in no need for others to remember me...
It won't make sense if I don't even remember myself anymore...
I just need to remember who I am, was, and will be...
This is an urgency...
So, don't forget, please, to remember me...

Midnight Snack

This isn't much of a bell-ringer to me because the usual breakfast-lunch-dinner with a little merienda in the midday is enough for me. However, tonight's just a little bit special because I actually had a literal midnight snack (and actually am having one). Haha. :)

Right now, I have SkyFlakes as my midnight snack. Yep, you're right. The plain-flavoured biscuit in rectangles that has holes in it. Haha.

Now, you might want to ask me why I should be writing a blog about such a petty thing as that. Well, here's the thing: for a few days now, I've had a fever. And, just recently, I've discovered the significance of the term called "paracetamol". Hahaha. And, I just figured out that your tummy should have at least something in it when you take them. So, though you get it already, it's just because of the simple reason that I had to eat something in line with taking meds. Hahaha. :))

However, come to think of it, this is what midnight snack literally means -- eating snacks during midnight. Since I'm having one due to indirect necessity, It just makes me wonder what makes other people have one too. Lol. :)

When Things Change

I need to write this one. Period. For so long a time of silence, I need to say something. It's been quite long since I've last squeezed out some juice of words to colour the pages of my blog. I believe, however, that now is the time to do such a thing again.

Change is indeed inevitable. However, when we change, I believe that we must be aware of it. If things go out of hand and control, it is the time when it is the most difficult to handle change. When the things we become and have changed into are images that we aren't familiar of nor comfortable to look at, that is when we'll have a hard time coping with change.

I myself have experienced quite a bountiful number of changes in me too. As I reminisce and try to remember who I was before, I think of trying to "get back" the things that I know I was... but with that thought, a conflicting idea enters in -- since change is inevitable, is it necessarily good, and should we just be caught up in its raging currents? Or should we fight its course?

Today, I'm not about to answer that question that I have in mind. I think that answers aren't what I need right now. I can say that because even now, my mind's caught up with lots of cares to even add another heavy one. What I need today is a simple release. A breather. An exhale. A cool down. Comfort. Relief. I think that babbles are enough. I don't need another ounce of intelligent foolishness. I don't need another ton of worldly wisdom that won't even move me anywhere were I should be, only blinding me of my original course and direction in life. If I'll draw the road that I'm in, I'll draw myself in the middle of a corn-field of tall plants that blind me of where I am.

Right now, what I need is enlightenment, enough for me to understand who I am (again -- if that word applies). I just want to be versed again of the meaning of my life. I want to go the path that I once knew.

Did I have amnesia? Or is it just because I got too much carried away of my cares in this world? Those ones, especially, that I even hate doing? What have I turned into? Yes, this is change and it is constant, but is it supposed to run out of control? Is it supposed to ruin me? Am I supposed to reach the lowest, darkest depths of the earth just for me to see light again? Is that the routine that we all should take before we learn or even see the light?

Now that these words has been said, I guess that this is where my journey begins.

I'm Never Gonna Pretend To Know Anymore

I'm never gonna pretend like to know the things that I do not really know that much anymore. I think that it has become my habit to conquer everything that challenges me even if they're the first time that I've encountered them. There's this sort of pride in me that needs to finish them off out at once. In turn, things end up as disasters, not victory. My zeal, or rather, lack of patience hurts more than it stitches. I achieve the end, but by unpleasant means. The saying "the end doesn't justify the means" rings on my ear with me saying this.

Today, however, I've given up. I'm tired of trying to do what is clearly beyond what I can do. I'm tired of promising people that I'm gonna do something for them that I do not really know of. I'm tired of hearing them ask me if I've done it yet with me still struggling to find out how to do so.

With this honesty in hand, I begin to learn genuinely. As I acknowledge my weaknesses and limitations, I actually identify my threshold and my points for expansion.

Today, this is how I'll do things -- I'll identify those that I can readily do and just normally do them. Now, with the things that I do not know doing yet, I'll admit that I can't do them. However, I am open to learn them. Starting now, bring it all on. I have a new rhythm anyway. ;)

Cute Animals: On Lovely Snakes This Time

Since I have this advanced-season setup, lemme ask dear Santa something for Christmas (although I know that it would probably take more years to be fulfilled). I hope that I see a film showing the "cute side" of snakes in it where they're the star. There are some 3D animated films out there, but they still only as far as characterize snakes as having deceitful and cunning thinking. I wanna see them animated to talk like just another animals are animated -- looking cute. I wanna see them yawn, laugh, open their mouth wide-open while talking just like any other animals are depicted. Imagine those sharp teeth spraying out while they're innocently talking, yet they're not out there to scare people out -- an extremely hilariously entertaining and joyous sight. I hope that such a time may come, even if it be short.

All of us probably see snakes as scary animals (if not for machismo in the house). This is exemplified through all the movies so far ever recorded (or tell me if it isn't so). From the recent film "Snakes on a plane" among others, we could only help but see them as fierce and poisonous animals. Why is it always like that? Do they really need to be feared? Oh, I guess that here enters the biblical text on how the Serpent who used to have hands and legs until they were removed and the serpent was turned into a crawling, creeping being, much like snakes. But, are we so sure of the real and literal translation of those mystical biblical texts to just so easily conclude that snakes equate and symbolize evil and evil alone?

Can we, this time, see snakes as beautiful animals, even just for a while? And, would it hurt to make it last longer? Can we, for a moment, exempt them a little bit from those that were literally written in the biblical texts? We're in the age of grace today anyway, so why not have it applied for such an animal? Besides, they were created by God anyway as it said that "God created creeping beings". Satan is a different, although similar, story. He possessed the serpent who had hands and legs, much like an image of dragons. Well, the point is, it was about deception. But, do snakes have the same deception in them? Why do we so readily judge? Oh, we stereotype so much. *sighs* :(

BTW, since this post is about cute animals, I just wanna say how CUUUUTTTEEEE this dog in the office is! It looked like a wolf, with the soft fur and color. I just love it! Hahaha! I'm gonna visit him (or her, since i still do not know yet, haha) frequently! Argh! Hahaha. I love that lil dogling. Aww. Haha. :)

Why I like Poetry More

In this post, I'll explain why I like poetry entries more (in reading and writing) than essay-journal-ey type of entries and fiction.

It's not that I do not like literary works other than poetry. I enjoy reading and writing down my thoughts too in such a format other than poetry. But, I just find myself skipping down on entries of blogs that I do not own when I see long lines unless I really find them interesting and something that I can relate to -- that is how I judge what relevant as a word is. I want to find personal meaning in what I read and write. I want to enjoy it and be able to connect with it. That is why I oftentimes find myself lost and not able to enjoy the glories of fiction unless if it's discussed in a facilitated talk-like manner. Only then can I see its significance, thus, only then, too, am I able to connect with it.

An exception to those I am not fond of reading entries are those such that I personally and directly can relate to, or at least, paint out on my mind happening. Other people's opinions, if they do not connect nor relate to my world, are more difficult to read and be appreciated because I am compelled to comprehend an entirely different world. I find it very insignificant. I do not have that much patience in me right now.

Long essay-like and opinionated posts are often passed-through by my eyes as I really feel detest or abounding distaste for spending time absorbing them. I do not really enjoy debates and formulating ones. But, if an issue involves me in it and my thoughts, if it provokes my mind and stimulates me to react and air out my noble side, if I fail to evade it, that is the only time that I will respond to those kind of entries. Those are the exempted reads that I go on through. Like I said, I find it time-wasting to hunt for debate-hot reads. Debates only spark when they reach me, not me reaching them. I do not form them. They are only formed when they touch me.

Now, the reason why I like poetry more than long-written thoughts (essays and journal accounts of other people) is because their vividness and briefness captivates me. In a choice number of words is a whole new set of words that multiply itself into infinity. Poetry expands itself every millisecond -- or, in fact, immeasurable all the time it is written, appreciated, and touched. It's like the universe in characteristic -- no one can fathom its space.

Aside from that, I just really appreciate its simplicity in every way. The way it is written with lines in different simple but unique systems of order makes me feel like the knots on my head loosen up unlike long personally-written non-poetry entries. They don't give you a hard time putting yourself in it while you read them. They tell and bare it all right away like they easily connect and attach to your skin and your head-bulbs. But, the ease of riding them doesn't mean that they lack substance nor depth. Their immortal essence are only that powerful that they cling to your eyes, ears, and heart right away with that full, ripe content and meaning.

Aside from these reasons, I believe that there are more. To different people, different special thoughts and characteristics can be painted out, making it just more special to read and behold. Its different tastes are all equally wonderful, beautiful, and are worthy to be appreciated.

Up to now, I still haven't found my fondness for fictional literary works. However, I've promised myself recently to open up myself to such pieces of art. Someday, I hope, I'll be there. Time will tell the story. I will listen by then.

Are There Shortcuts to Friendship?

A tower will fall, crash and burn, when an earthquake hits it if its foundation hasn't been laid out well. Just like friendship.

So far, the best friendships that I ever had are with the ones, among others, I've worked with in unity, understanding, trust, and challenges. Others are the ones formed through nurtured communication and preservation of the relationship, even if it started out as being acquaintances. Unlike the ones formed through hanging out long hours doing nothing but idleness and waste of time, they last longer and are better ground for culturing and taking care of.

Pseudo-friendships always crack and are ever in need of patching up. And, why is that? I've experienced before how my friendship connections fail. But, there is always a need to repair them after the chaos. The problem is that it always goes the same way and it has become a cycle. In the end, I feel like I never had any real friend, and I go on soul-searching. It stresses me out. I hunger and plea for genuine friends and I feel that there are none. I feel like I'm a horse with eye-patches on the side of my view so that I can only see one direction.

From that, I've learned how to distinguish the different types and levels of relationships there are that I have with others, and how to, like with ground, culture them to help in forming them into genuine relationships.

We must start our relationship with others from the base. We cannot continue right away from the top. We must also know who those are that are really there, and who those are that we only illusion of in being there. If we choose the wrong pieces of wood and blocks of stones, it will fall down like an uno-stack-o that doesn't fit well. We mustn't commit the mistake of assuming those that aren't really meant to be friends or are already friends as real friends while they're not. We must lay down the foundations well first before it gets ready to stand tall, strong, and glorious. It cannot be made historical and monumental unless it's made in the right way.

So, today, let me ask a question. Do we make genuine friends in just an instant? By just hanging out with them (doing vanity), and presto, we're good friends? Are there shortcuts to friendship?

In The Eyes of a Gunman

Do we understand the mind of murderers? Aside from the insatiable and the dark lust for creeping blood, is there something more? With the addiction for control, what's the real cause?

It's a matter of having the sense of control for life's partiality. Think of these words: we are all likely to die; it's just a matter of who holds the gun. There is equality, then. But, it is obtained through unpleasing means. Injustice is turned to justice in the eyes of a gunman. And, when that happens, that man's justice becomes injustice in the eyes of the law. In the end, life's unfairness becomes like a trap that nobody seems to be able to escape from...

Well, I guess that it just seems that way. If we could only see outside the box. If we could only have seen bigger, wider, broader, there could've been more solutions and means than just ending life.

Here's an entry about being in the eyes of a gunman:

You thought you're in control
Well, look at you now
Now, I hold your soul
And in your knees you bow

Who do you think are you
With all this vain luxury?
Today, I shall take you
Down to the grave with me

We are all equal
And all likely to die
Life ain't impartial
Heights fall, the low fly

And here for us today
Is a day of reckoning
Now the role I play
Of the gunman like a starling

This nice little trigger
Has been created for you and me
It's just that I'm luckier
So say goodbye, honey

I Blew It

This day has been a wreck. Well, it’s not that harsh a word to use to describe the day. That is a fact. At least, the reason why I can say that is because, in all honesty, that is what perfectly describes it.

It started yesterday, a Sunday, that I started to plan the things that I need to do with great need. I, miraculously, too, have started doing this time-management thing even if I really wasn’t fond of it. I just hate time-management (or it hates me) and I don’t really get how it works. But, however, yesterday was different. With things to do piled up for this week, I really had the need to accomplish tasks. Well, that’s for a start – a fuel for time management.

During the course of the day, with me listing down the things that I need to do on my organizer, I was able to follow through some of the things that I listed down. That is for the start of it. As expected, after being able to do some of the things (with a little compromise or acceptable adjustments in it), I over-did a task (on the list) a little. I overslept (for quite a number of minutes). Starting from that, there have been side-track errand requests from the external forces or the environment. To put it off, I wasn’t entirely able to follow the time-frame plan which I allotted to do my review for my Trigonometry quiz, and later, for my Business and Organizational Management quiz for that day’s tomorrow. It then became more and more difficult for me to keep up with my plan, struggling to find my way into starting what I need to do and finish for the “time-frames”. In simple words, I have been time-frame-bound, trapped, and stuck. Yes, I really felt stuck that there’s this one time that I totally got out of my ego-control which led me to hang out a while at the terrace to breathe in air and blow out suffocating air from within me.

After that, I just tried to accept that I simply cannot follow my plan. Part of that is due to my fault, and I admit that. Starting then, again, I was able to continue my reviews although it was already late. I do not want to forget mentioning that I was having a hard time to do that, yet I continued on.

The plans were done but with such costly exchanges. I was able to review one out of two subjects but I didn’t have a great time. I wasn’t able to do my best. I didn’t really grasp them the way I should be able to. It wasn’t that efficient, nor that effective too.

Today, a Monday, the day of doom because of my faults, (yes, I have myself to blame for, which quite honestly stresses me out, argh) I overslept again. I woke up two-hours before I actually got off my bed. And, as expected, I was groggy again. Like before times that I overdid my sleep, I felt like I lack energy. Maybe it was due to my body pain for days because of workout, but I guess it really has something to do with me not doing what I should do – waking up when my body told me to do so. With that in mind, I came to a thought that it probably is something about me. With that happening over and over again, there must be something wrong (or whatever) in me that I do not see that I should see. I thought that I might need to understand myself more. I began to feel that these things happening might only be pointing out something in me that I do not know of. I began to formulate the idea that I might be a hard-headed person. I saw disobedience and disinterest in those deeds of mine. However, seeing those things made me think of doing things next time with my whole heart in it all the time, that whenever there is a task, I should try my best to do it with sincere and earnest intent.

Also, as a result of my pseudo time-management, I’ve also learned a little something. I’ve learned how to set goals for the week which I believe is quite a something. I think that I’m gonna start off with mini week-long goal-setting to get me through. And, for this week, my goal is to correct all the flaws that I’ve committed for the past week. I guess that would be enough for a start since it’s still just a Monday. That just means that there’s still a lot more opportunities for success for the week.

Yes, I blew it, screwed up, crushed and burned, and have sunk low (that it hurts). However, there’s something more for me. I ripped off with the Trigonometry exam, maybe, but I believe in favour. Or, in more understandable terms, I believe in that which is in store for me. There is a God who loves me. Now, all I have to do is go on with the day with Him by my side and see all bliss there is wonderfully waiting for me.