Reflections on authenticity and harmonizing with other people

Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to stop caring altogether about the chaos in the world? That you’re done with all of it that you’re fine seeing the world burn? So tired of endless battles and going in circles, that you give up caring?

Do you also get that feeling of wanting to be yourself and not caring about what other think about you, or how to get along with other people? But when you look at yourself in the mirror, your conscience or your morals tell you that you should be ashamed? But also deep inside you, you want to be real to yourself—be so authentic and embracing of you? That you want to be that truthful?

Do you understand that feeling of being authentic and invulnerable, yet feeling so powerless because you’re not good enough in that authenticity? Like you want to be the best you can be and stretch your limits to come up with something that goes beyond this world, but you feel your weight pulling you back to the ground?

I feel like I have been pleasing others all my life, and neglecting myself. But to choose myself over others would also mean to hurt other people. What is the right choice? A middle ground, a compromise, feels like purgatory.