Tuesday, September 23, 2008
What's so special in missing someone is the moment that you finally get to be together again with that person. The feeling of joy overwhelms you. There is nothing much more to say than goodness and "how I missed you so much"-es.
I've been away
For quite some time now
But it's different today
As I see your face somehow
The feeling of home
Warms me, rejuvenates my heart
It tickles to the bone
Whispers, "we'll never 'gain be 'part"
I laugh at how silly
It was to think I blamed you
All that I could see
Was that you left without a clue
But then I knew along
As I blinded myself with pride
You sought me hours long
When I from home depart
The comfort of my bed
At last, I once again could touch
The torments in my head
Have fled, as me you patch
The only thing
That I could lastly say
I'll forever sing
How I missed you everyday
Cos I can't anymore
Last for another second
Don't make me stay
In this place cos I
Wanna be where You are
In you is gladness
Bliss forever and ever
You cover my sadness
Carry me in with Your
Arms and wings of angels
I remember that You
Told me we're One
I just want to believe
I know it's true
How You said that I
Carry Your name inside
You are my answer
To cries and confusion
My only working solution
My strong tower
Proved your words
Worked amazement and wonder
Monday, September 22, 2008
First of all, when you kill time doing nothing and trying to fill in the emptiness in you yet you know that you're doing nothing profitable or you do not exactly have a certain direction at that point of time, you only waste it. It's like dipping your feet in a basin full of water yet what really needs to be washed are your hands.
Second, when you wake up early in the morning (or whatever time it may be), you'll feel refreshed and your mind is all energized and new. You'll be able to think more smoothly. Who knows, that might just be all you need to handle what you're in that moment.
Now I know what vanity is.
Friday, September 19, 2008
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) done weed
( ) drank alcohol
SO FAR: 0
(x) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
SO FAR: 3
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date
SO FAR: 5
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept (not sex) with a co-worker (co-workerS)
(x) seen someone/something die
SO FAR: 8
(x) had/have a crush or liked on one of your friends.
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
( ) been on a plane
( ) thrown up from drinking
SO FAR: 9
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
( ) been mosh pitting
SO FAR: 10
( ) been in an abusive relationship
( ) taken pain killers
(x) love/loved someone who you can’t have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
SO FAR: 12
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress ups
SO FAR: 16
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledging
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
SO FAR: 20
(x) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
(I'm too numb, I really haven't even though those with me have, haha) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake
SO FAR: 22
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed/vandalized someone
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a deer
SO FAR: 25
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle/4-wheeler accident
SO FAR: 28
( ) had/have braces
( ) eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 30
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
SO FAR: 33
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
( ) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying
SO FAR: 36
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored w/crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
SO FAR: 41
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) kissed in the rain
SO FAR: 43
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
SO FAR: 44
(x -- felt like I crashed one but was still a kid back then, haha) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone roller-skating/blading
(x) had a wish come true
SO FAR: 47
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "you suck" in class
( ) swam with dolphins
SO FAR: 47
( ) got your tongue stuck to a freezer/ice cube
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex’s clothes
(x) sat on a roof top
SO FAR: 49
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night
SO FAR: 52
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had been in a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
SO FAR: 54
( ) believe in ghosts
(x) have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
(x) gone streaking
( ) gone to jail
SO FAR: 56
(I know this one, but haven't) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused
SO FAR: 59
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) almost drowned in a pool
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
SO FAR: 62
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x but didn't succeed) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) slept naked
( ) French braided someone’s hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
(x) been kicked out of your house
SO FAR: 66
(x) rode on a roller coaster
( ) went scuba-diving/snorkeling
( ) had a cavity
( ) Black-mailed someone
(x) been black mailed
SO FAR: 68
(x) been used
(x almost) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
( ) licked someone
Repost this with:
''I've done __ out of 144 stupid things"
About Pro-Choice: can we be sure that our choices are the right ones? Are the good ones? I hope so.
About Pro-Life: a one-way choice. Pro-life means that it isn't pro-death or other opposing ways. It's just like saying pro-right, pro-good. It's main aim is for the good which is life. I dunno. Maybe people today just don't mind what's good or not.
If a dirty man thinks he's not dirty, what then is dirty to him and how dirty is it? The same goes with how great the darkness of a man is if he sees his darkness as light. Think of that.
Kudos for every writer out there. ;)
It is not the first time, if I ever do, that I feel the "need" to draw closer to the Abba, Father. I have an innate call to feel His warmth, even at least every season. There is no miss in my life that I feel the necessity of drawing strength from Him. There are also numerous times that I grieve and long for His words as if my tummy went overnight without food. That is, also, recently what I've been through. However, I do not want to cage this experience by my yesterday. It is a lifetime privilege and blessing, I believe.
With this certain voice inside me calling, as if a natural mechanism of my soul, I may say that I experience the difficulty of answering such internal call to draw near. I almost all the time fail. I only see myself successfully clinging to Him at my lowest point and I think that it has become difficult for me to wait for those situations alone for me to gain His help, His hand.
But, with all said and done, today is something new. While I was on my way to school today, as I was seated on a Green Star bus, I was hearing His voice calling over and over again at my name. I can't really explain "how" I can say I "heard" His voice because it's a mixture of physical, spiritual, mental, and other factors inside me. These things just cannot be easily grasped by physical or human terms because they are way beyond it. With me looking out the window, I was sensing Him telling me that I can only succeed in everything, particularly my enrollment problems and concerns, through His power and strength, and that I am weak.
I agree to that voice anyway. All I've ever done by myself has all been failures, stresses, disappointments, and short-falling glories that have their moments together with the ill effects in them. I knew that today, my immediate yet somewhat long-term enrollment concern, would shatter me if I try to fix it by myself. I also knew that His STRENGTH, bigger than mountains, and not to speak of the universe, is the only force that can move this hill in front of me. I can try, yes, but I fear and I know that I will only worsen the situation. The best and only option, then, is to just give up.
Yesterday, as I was fixing my stuff, I found out that I carried with me an Our Daily Journey book. This book is what I'm using since I do not have a copy of the popular Our Daily Bread book. It was also actually quite funny because out of all the times I was searching madly for it in times of dire need, I could find nothing, only to find out that it was with me all along. How ironic! During the travel on the bus, with this voice speaking inside me, my hands moved as if it needed to reach out this booklet. I took my time, though, and relaxed a little bit first. I did not want to be dictated of what I know or think I need. I want to read because I need to read and not because I THINK that I should read.
For September 19, 2008, the passage was taken from Psalm 42:1-6. It was about dears whose sufficiency is on the rivers of the water. The author, Joe Stowell, compared the gazelles with camels. Camels can live for 3 months without water in the desert. Gazelles, on the other hand, need water for their "fast-paced existence" just the way they were described in the psalm: they pant for water. The author also said that "we weren't built for life in a spiritual desert. We were built-redeemed, in fact-for regular, satisfying access to the refreshing presence of God in our souls".
With that, I saw how much I was so self-sufficient. I thought I could do it all and that I am mighty by myself. I was utterly wronged. I felt like I lived in the desert and it opened my eyes. That time I prayed to God to restore me and place me in His paradise once again. I wanted to be in a place where the only need is Him and Him alone. Today, that is what I've learned. I can REALLY DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST. Amen. :)
After having arrived at the College's Office to talk to the Academic Assistant about my enrollment disaster and concern, I prayed that whatever that's gonna happen is in His mighty hands already. I told myself that I need not to worry anymore. There are no accidents, I tell myself.
After a short while, the Acad. Assistant arrived and I was able to talk to her. To cut short, she told me that they did something to reconsider the applicants whose requests were rejected. For that, I thank God. To think that I had a lot of explanations, points of debates and concerns, and criticisms prepared and to have not been able to use them? Argh. I am a fool. Still, with the results still coming out tomorrow, it still is in God's hands and not mine.
I went off the office thanking the ones that needed to be thanked (including, of course, the Father), and went on my way. Then, too, I met some of the guys I knew who are part of the Student Council which I was hoping to talk to about some concerns. To cut that moment short too, I was invited to join them to be part of the Student Council which was also already what I had in mind.
Wow. All these in one shot? I just can only say that all I need is Him. Period and proven. So, stop your being self-sufficient now. Plug in, as they say, to the ultimate source of power and possibilities. Hahaha! :)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I'm pretty much not a Starbucks person. Aside from the expensive caffè latte's, another thing that drive's me off like a negative magnetic force from Starbucks is that I think that it's just vanity. Oh, well. I guess I'm not as Lasallite as they come. I don't see myself going there, socializing, and making myself obliviously comfortable yet attention-catching. Maybe I'm just not that type of person cos I'm a low-profiler or an independent. Cafes, to me, are too posh; and I'm not. However, until recently, and several times before, most especially during times of utter need for coffee boosts, I've been seeing myself as having day-dreams of boozing with Starbucks coffee. Ugh!
I just suddenly remember this Nickelodeon cartoon that I've watched before (I don't really remember the title). The cartoon character got addicted to coffee; pretty much caffeine-addicted that she relies on coffee alone for her energy needs throughout the day. She's turned to abusing her body everyday: sleeping late at night and cramming -- all with the help of coffee. Maybe that's where the stigma with coffee came from since I wasn't that much of a coffee person until recently this year when the first term started.
It's not really taboo for me to help myself with a Starbucks goodie or whatever but I just find myself not delving into such seemingly luxury that much. I'm a practical person. However, I think the time has come, and so has the reasons, for me to begin trying Starbucks. Yeah, you read that right. But it doesn't mean that I'm gonna be an addict, a Starbucks-fanatic or a regular customer .It's just that I think that I'm considering trying this personally different practice for the first time. Again, I just don't really see myself as somebody who digs these types of establishments because I personally think that they're too classy for me. But then again, I think that it's just part of conquering the world. It's part of change. The time has come for the simple I am to try the world around me and know more. Maybe it's just that.
One more thing that I think would bring my feet inside Starbucks is, guess what... friends! I really think that it's gonna be very boring to hang out at Starbucks all by yourself especially if you're not comfortable with such places. Friends really make 'Starbucks' and other classy cafe experiences pocket-and-worth-while. Haha. And, ah. The friendship thing again. I think that needs a little workout but it would do. There are a lot of them around anyway. Haha. Gone be the boring me! :)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I guess they have the so-called phyto-lullabyers. Those really give you give internal massage that you would love enough to make you sleep (yawns).
I guess this is just my way of saying good night. Lol! :))
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friendster and Multiply cannot be compared. Their individual functions seem quite the same but they are different. They suit different people and different (although similar) kinds of needs.
Allow me to share one brief reason why I now had a reason to maintain my Friendster account as lively as I did before and as lively as "lively" means. I have just realized that there are certain friends of mine who are more of a "Friendster" person than a "Multiply" person. Most take sides and quite a handful are able to balance the two sides of their Online Networking life.
I have realized that those specific people who prefer using Friendster more in a way that they are much comfortable with it than Multiply, have specific patterns of behaviour or have a particular personality or unique preference. Multiply users also show particular characteristics and lifestyles that are a bit different than those who prefer to use Friendster more. In all this, we simply cannot take away Friendster from it's devotees nor can we to Multiply followers. But, there might be some change of preference of users in one point of time that I believe takes a kind of process to occur. I am a personal witness.
Although, other than Friendster and Multiply, there are more sites like MySpace, FaceBook, Tagged and a growing more number of similar ones, the two that I've talked about are, for me, quite prominent, and because they're the ones I particularly use. I have tried some of the other networking sites but they never really had me commit because they, for me, lacked substance and just seem like mere shadows of the ones we already know.
Some of my dear Friends show a more deal of passion in using Friendster. They are more expressive when using Friendster and they enjoy the simplicity and upfrontness that Friendster serves them. I figured that it is a great thing to connect with them in Friendster with the same ideal, same approaches. After all, fun is what Friendster should be (all) about anyway. With all these in mind, I've finally decided to pursue somehow an active use of Friendster at the same time, keep my Multiply account for different purposes.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Even before that, while it was still earlier than 8PM, I felt sleepy already due to resting in the terrace with my Radio on. The neighbors, by the usual, were beginning to play their streak of Videoke session of which almost everyone I know of asks me what occasion there is for such a noisy celebration. If they're not drinking beer together almost every after nights, they are doing Karaoke.
By some wonderful coincidence, with my Radio on to cover the noise from the neighboring house, I happened to hear a song on the radio that said what my heart contains that time. I prayed it out to my Dear Father God after which I felt lighter. The terrace is where I thought of sleeping early. After that, I went downstairs to brush my teeth which I did only after finishing the distraction of donuts and more food.
My sleep was really sound and pleasant. It was pretty peaceful and I loved it if not for the noise made by the neighbors building up. Not only were the neighbors the ones who were noisy -- my brother who was near where I slept was starting his own compendium of disturbance. It was a SOUND sleep indeed that woke me up completely a few minutes before 11PM. I muttered, half-consciously, that "I can't sleep with all the noise of the neighbors going on and you [my brother] playing your MP3s pretty loud!" That pissed me off the way how a peaceful sleeper should be when rid and robbed of his state of liberty and comfort. The things that went on were all normal by far.
So, when I woke up, I picked up my mobile phone after it vibrated from at the bottom of my feet in the bed and saw two (2) text messages waiting for me to be read. I replied to a text message of a friend, Mike, who unusually said "hi...". At first I thought that he probably has something really BIG, IMPORTANT, and URGENT to tell me for him to text me in that unusual time of night. That made me reload my mobile account immediately because I only had 1 peso left because I don't fancy text messaging anymore as compared to before. Haha.
The talk went on, and I noticed that the "tone" of text of this friend of mine, Mike, seemed to go strange. I was expecting that he was about to say something sensitive, maybe ask something about his girlfriend, or I was worrying that they're going through hard times again, so I obliged myself in answering his messages. The messages went on and 'he' seemed to go on asking about mundane, insensible stuff. He's not like that -- he's logical, rational, and prideful when you talk to him, and then he just goes on talking to me like we're 'friend' friends? A few texts more and I thought he sounded like his girlfriend and that I told him. He began to reply in such a way that I could recognize his text message "tone". A few messages more revealed that he was really with Jamie and that they were in the Asian Hospital because Jamie's mom, whose daughter is Mike's girlfriend, has been hospitalized due to some sort of viral gastro infection or something... So that explains the weird messages in between. I won't detail on the contents of the message to avoid crazy controversies! :))
Alongside with that, I talked to lolo Jaime, the youngest brother of my dear lola Herminia. They have just arrived today because lolo Jaime escorted his daughter, Tita Aimee (I'm not sure how it's spelled), here to help with the office work. That time when I woke up due to the completely peace-shattering noise everywhere, my mom asked me to prepare a bed for lolo Jaime to sleep on. There was this folding bed in the Terrace and sleeping there would be nice because of the cool evening breeze. I installed the bed and escorted lolo Jaime in.
During that time, something striked my mind about the whereabouts of lolo Jaime's home was because he asked me if I had ever been where they live, in Maragondon, Cavite, before. I just so remembered Jollie Diquit, a good friend of mine in De La Salle University - Dasmariñas, who also was a fellow BUTIL (Basic University Training In Leadership) Lasalyano delegate and proud member. She was a distinguished student-leader too and has been in pretty good terms with me. I used to help her and her friends in difficult programming projects, assignments, lessons, and more. The extent of our friendship exceeds in a way that I trust Jollie as a really good friend, and on her side, I believe she shows confidence in what I can do. To top it off, I discovered that she too is an understanding Christian friend which eliminates big gaps, and adds up to the bridge of connection for the two of us. That sums up our harmonious friendly relationship.
Even before that, the reason why she came to my mind is because the first time I met her was when my high school classmate, Jescelle Villanueva, of two years, 2nd and 4th year, introduced her to me as one of their prided-at block-mates. She was sometimes referred to as the "best of her class" and/or "the 'Ate'" of their block. One of Jescelle's introductory information about her is that she belonged to the few ones who used to pass the difficult subjects where only a select and really worthy few could. Also, during that time, Jollie, this beautiful lady whom I have just newly met, told me that she thinks that I looked familiar. She thinks and she insisted that she saw me before. She asked me if I've been to 'Maragondon before' and I told her that I'm not sure but I think I'm a bit familiar with the name.
I tried my very best, that time, to recall what and/or where Maragondon is and I was able to remember a few trace of what or where it was. I remember the architect's house where my mother side's clan gathered together for a family reunion. That was the time where there was a carnival and other fancy stuff going on probably because of the fiestas. I think that WAS the Maragondon that she was talking about. However, I just couldn't remember a trace of her face in that event. It's probably because I was quite oblivious and self-centered the time I visited the site. I only wanted home and computer games and/or special treatments. Haha.
With that aside, I came back asking lolo Jaime if he knew the Diquit clan. He told me he does. He told me a lot about their local life and other stuff like how he was connected to the politicians here and there, and he explained to me what the genealogical connections were. At that time, I really got excited because the pieces finally started to fit. With the help of lolo Jaime, I finally remembered where the Maragondon that Jollie talked about. It was somewhere else the one I recalled, although near it.
I got the details of the place. Finally, I no longer felt like a lost stranger to Maragondon like it's a place way far away for me to know it. No longer is it that dreams only take me to it if not by accident. I even remember the exact time that we visited Maragondon. That was when I was in between my 6th grade of school and my 1st year in high school. I can say that because I remember the time that we were in the gray L300 van kidding one another with me being the star that time because of my mala-balagtas lingo. I used to do very deep tagalog words that were very matalinhaga than the usual that time. I even think I beat the senior high school students who only discovered and played with the thing a few years later. On our way to Maragondon, we were in the van having fun through my uncanny knowledge and skill in using tagalog in a very humorous way.
I immediately tried to contact Jollie Diquit. At my third (3rd) attempt of calling her, she was finally able to answer my phone call. I asked her first where she was and if I had disturbed her. I later told her how I now remembered where Maragondon exactly was and later asked how she was. Hahaha. What a small world it was. She sounded a little different today but I was glad to hear from her. The call only lasted 1:43 minutes, if I remember that right.
After the call, I checked my balance with Globe's new promo TV advertisement, 0.5 cents/second call, in mind. I was a little bit taken-aback by how it didn't work. I thought that, when I saw my credits left, it might be due to my SULITXT request, only to find out that it didn't really fit the computation and that the request failed to register.
Just a few minutes before midnight or so, I tried to call the Globe Telecom Customer Service to clarify the matter of confusion that I was in. I was then attended by this male agent after the operator. I wasn't able to take note of what his name was because his line was quite choppy. I completely doubt that it was on my side because I had a full signal bar on my mobile phone that time.
One of the things that I've noticed about the Customer Service Representative of Globe Telecoms is that he started to sound gay if not effeminate. I went on saying that I have something to ask about their service. Of course, since the usual SOP is that they first get my name and my mobile number to check my account, I gave out my mobile number and my name, Matthew. To the extent of my knowledge, I suspect that it is their SOP to get a customer's name so that they could properly address the customer while talking to them. That has been told by one of their agents before, and one of my older friends.
My concern about the 0.50 cents/second call has been answered so far. The agent told me that the promo service is only applicable during Sundays and that it has also already ended last August 31. He even told me that they, however, still haven't received any notice of its termination. I might be able to try the service this coming Sunday if I want to check it out.
The thing about the phone call is that the agent seemed to talk more than what I asked for, requiring me to interrupt and stop him from speaking of unneeded information any further. He seemed to "like" to talk more about "their services" while I really had nothing more to ask.
Lastly, the thing that bothered me most is that the agent, when I was about to drop the call, immediately started to unusually ask my full name. I was a bit puzzled at first at where and why they need it for. I believe that customer's personal and private information should be kept private or else breaches can make the service providers accountable. I asked why he or "they" seemed to need it and he answered me that it was "due to future services" or so which is possible but just strange. It felt really weird.
Even from the start of the phone call, he almost forgot asking what my name was. Later, when he remembered to ask those info from me, it sounded a bit more strange by the tone of his voice, showing a stream of ulterior motive, but I didn't mind it that much. That triggered more the following time when he began insisting on the need of getting my name reasoning out more that "it'll be kept confidential" between me and globe. I insisted, on the other hand, that it seems unusual and I told him that I'm not requesting for any other additional service or information and I don't need such so far. He then again reasoned out saying this time that it will only be "between me [the call center agent] and Globe Telecoms". I don't know if he made a mistake on that one or he slipped saying something that tells of a hidden agenda. Lol!
I ended the conversation by saying, "I do not really prefer on giving my full name, if that's okay. I also do not clearly understand what the point is to do that." I just didn't really feel like giving my full name. It's a personal information anyway. I came up with such a decision also due to the fact that I've just finished my ENGLRES (Research in English/English for specific purposes) course with a whopping and surprising 4.0 grade which topic was about The Effects of Information Technology to Society. It explains that one of the effects of IT is the decreasing security and privacy of users. I also have read earlier in an article from the Sophos antivirus website that there is more than 40% of users that practices divulging of personal and private information leading to identity thefts and other malicious abuse and use of other people's personal information.
As far as I'm concerned, I believe that it is illegal to steal or pick up pieces of personal information of customers, especially in the call center scene. I don't know but I think I've heard from others that they kind of prohibit bringing personal paper notes or something to record the personal information of the customers. That is respect to the customer and respect to an individual's right for privacy.
Whew! So far I have a handful to say about my evening. Haha. Good night! :)
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Blog, posts, blog, posts, blog, posts, blog, and a bit of guestbook replies = functional and fully operational multiply life of Matthew. Haha.
Hmm. I wonder when Friendster's turn is? I hope they do get a chance. Lol! :))