Blogs vs. Plurks: The Memorial Value

I was supposed to blog something... but ended up just 'plurking' it. I believe that there is a big difference with the value that a blog has than that of a plurk.

Blogs are more... I may say, intimate. That is how I treat my blogs. My plurks, on the other hand, are more 'public'. Why are they public? First of all, I linked them to my Facebook account. That means that all ordinary plurks (without the !FB keyword) will automatically get posted to FB. Yes. That's it. So, it means that everyone will get to read it.

I plurk most of the time to share something 'public', something that others can agree on... something that I want to shout out to the world. I just remembered, my Plurk's also linked to my Twitter account. That's how PUBLIC it is. :))

My blogs, now, are the sentimental ones. They are linked to my heart. I write my biggest secrets (well not all of them, but a lot of them I've written already... but on a different one, not on this blogsite). One may notice, if they know my plurk activity as compared to my blogging habits, that I plurk more than I blog. Hey, plurkin may also be considered as micro-blogging... but when I refer to 'blogging', I refer to this blogger site/account.

Okay... I think that my plurks outnumber my blogs because of several reasons... one of which is the ease of using it. It's also attached to my Yahoo! Messenger account so that whenever I think of something very sudden, when something pops out of my mind out of the blue, I can instantly record it.

I don't really believe in the immortality of saving your thoughts on an online repository like the internet... I have this belief that some day in the future... everything will be gone. We will run out of resources because we only know how to consume. There are groups that are starting movements for renewability. But, at least, whatever essence our thoughts create... it will remain forever in the air as everything disappears, and as we come back to dust... We have on source, and to that we will return in the end. If we look at it closer, nothing really disappears (law of physics). Whatever our thoughts produce, it fulfills whatever purpose it has.

Now, what can I say about memories? I say that we make them worthwhile... and make them last while they're there... and let's just create more of 'em. In my experience, there were lots of good things in my life. But my humanness limits my ability to keep all of them afresh all the time. It may be a rare moment to feel that special and sentimental experience of everything past. :)

Even though I don't believe in the immortality of the internet, I believe I should still make an effort of reaching out and sharing my thoughts to the world through my writing.

Proof that I'm Really Feeling Compulsive Tonight

Tonight, I'm feeling compulsive. I've been feeling really stressed out too. Argh! Work responsibilities (yeah, I still haven't "officially" withdrawn from my work -- not 'til Friday), ERRANDS (yeah, in big LETTERS cos they're not just your simple run-to-the-nearest-store-and-get-me-this-and-that errands, but HEAD-PULSATING ones!!!), social pressure (well, it includes some family-related thoughts that I have -- some normal phenomena, don't worry), and some that I might even have forgotten to mention. BUT, (yeah, but), I'm glad that right now, I'm in front of the keyboards (and of course, the screen) tapping into words, words that at the very least soothe me, give me rest, and help me "breathe" again.

I've been wanting to write something new. It's sort of a compulsion (just proves how compulsive I'm being today) for me to think that I NEED to blog. It's because I feel like I've paused too long and have not done a lot of blogs, that I NEED to do something about it, and that I NEED to put something on my personal blog (something written, of course). And, the feeling of me compulsed to do it makes me feel like it's something unreal and not genuine, that if I do write something, I'm gonna ruin the honesty of my blog, the genuineness, and the heart that I've sown in it.

If you look at it as a whole, I'm sort of cornered by two really pressing sides:

1. Me writing blogs to salvage my forgotten and desolate blogs... but risk its integrity because I'm only doing it for the sake of "putting something in it"...

or

2. "Wait" for the magical "spark" or the "magical moment" that some heavenly inspiration befall me, and I enchantingly write something wonderful, true, me, honest, and blog-worthy. Yet, that "waiting" remains the same -- still an act of waiting. And, in the end, nothing happens. The blogs are still empty. They are left there with flies hovering over them. They have no freshness in them. That Time has passed them by, and the wonderful changes that has happened in the real world and my life has had them left behind.

It's saddening. I feel so emotional and sentimental to think of it right now. Enough to jerk a tear out of my eyes and unto my cheeks. Well, I'm making it more dramatic than it actually is. But, that's how it really is when you write -- you squeeze out the emotions inside of you. The creativity that can be extracted from the world around you. The neon colors that surround you. Isn't that right? It just adds up to the beauty of the world that's bigger and more unimaginable than what we step and breathe on.

Well, at least now I can say that I'm finally able to get through compulsion, and let them all out. It must be just a result of all the stresses that caused me to inhibit some of the things in me, even without me knowing it. Is that even possible? Well, I guess it is.

By the way. I've entitled this blog as the "proof that I'm really feeling compulsive tonight". You might ask why it is so because you might not see anything so compulsive anywhere this blog post aside from me talking about compulsiveness. Or, maybe not... Hahaha! (laughs) Actually, I really do. I'm supposed to be sleeping tonight, but I just can't because I don't feel like sleeping. Somehow, me worrying about the blogs just keeps me from sleeping right. That's also why I'm here right now and writing this. Oh COMPULSION. Compulsion indeed!