Saturday, December 20, 2008

How Small The World Is: Internet Self-Defense

I just realized how small the world is... and it's all because of the net. Imagine yourself connecting real-time with people from Russia, the States, Europe, Africa, the mid-East, Asia, or anywhere in the world. I'm talking about the world anyway. Who knows, the future might open up the possibility of connecting with space.

Visit friendster and you're opening yourself up to the chance of meeting people even out the country where you belong. Open up a multiply account and you're also opening up a bridge to the people around the globe once you get to have anything in common with them through web-searches. A person may be able to get to know people from the farthest side of the country in a completely different walk of life through these kind of internet services. These tools can also be used to open up connections with people that they've never met before.

No matter how advantageous these may be, they'll always have a side-effect. People may use these tools as weapons to wreak terror. Persons with evil intentions may snoop and grab personal information from others. They may also steal them and use them as their own. These issues, to top that off, are even left without any security. Up to date, there are no written laws that protect people who use the internet from fraudulent schemes and issues on privacy. People mark the net-space as a public domain and they can do anything they want. Anything may also mean everything evil as long as people want to do it. There are no such laws.

Freedom of speech is a right that gets abused. It is also a right, when expressed, that occasionally puts people in danger. People may black-list and hunt down people that they hate. When a person makes a statement about something controversial, even a personal and private one, he or she is in great danger of being dropped by immediate connections. Issues of trust and integrity also surface out. What people may say can be controlled by others. Instead of being a place for releasing one's thoughts and expressing one's self, it becomes a place of imminent peril.

As far as some people are concerned, the internet can be a venue for personal destruction. Today, the internet controls the life of some individuals. It can also be their end. It affects people that much today. It honestly is safe to say that the internet itself is a lifestyle. Who knows when it will do the same to a larger number of people? A lot of people might actually have it as a part of their daily routine -- from checking their emails, social networking accounts, and et cetera, they're definitely hooked by an invisible strong-binding string of addiction, and in more soft core terms, of necessity. People might see tomorrow more and more third-world and heavily poverty-stricken countries arise and embrace this trend and generation. The internet may also soon be a major part of the people's personal social lives, if not totally replacing it.

The internet is a slum, a wild and dangerous place. Only those who know how to take care of their selves will be able to make it through and not be taken advantage of. People who use the net, an exponentially-growing number, must also educate themselves and acquaint themselves very well with the environment so that they can be able to survive that kind of world. They must learn how to safeguard themselves. They must themselves create guidelines as how to use the tools the internet offers because nobody else would do it for them. When people learn practicing internet self-defense, they're increasing their chances of enjoying the tool more and they'll be able to maximize its power. Let's all start enjoying the use of the internet. Let's not make it a menace. Instead, lets' use it for our advantage.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Grabbed: Autopsy on a Spoiled Girlfriend [a very tragic incident]

I grabbed this one because I found it very tragic. It was as interesting as well. Let me leave all of us with something to ponder... :O

Contributed by skrew_you (Edited by arwen)
Tuesday, April 29, 2008 @ 06:54:01 PM

No cracks, no fractures, no missing bones whatsoever.

Taxi cabs were her favorite way to go around the city. The boyfriend would open the car door for her and assist her while getting off the vehicle. She would take his offered hand like a princess getting off a lovely carriage. She would tell his boyfriend, "That's what boyfriends are for." Her boyfriend would nod in approval, kiss her on her forehead and smile. Her every step was watched. Her boyfriend is her safety scout. Sweet.

"If you don't take care of me, I'll break up with you."

No pulled, strained muscles.

She did not suffer from any forms of fatigue. Her life was a bliss. No need to rush to a convenient store to grab a midnight snack. Her boyfriend would offer his phone and she would call the delivery hotline. And on those days when it was not possible to have the food delivered, he would buy it himself, not minding the time nor the weather. No need to go to a spa to relax. He would light an essence lamp and ask her to lay on her tummy. He would then sooth her tired muscles using his bare hands. He was not really good at this but it pleased her. "That's what boyfriends are for," she would think.

"Buy me food, or else I'll break up with you."

Perfect condition, from mouth to the intestines.

She was well-fed. Where to eat, what to eat.. it was her choice. Her every craving was satisfied. He would also introduce her to restaurants and plates she had never tried before. She would think it was fantastic. She would gain weight and think that was her boyfriend's fault. He would smile and tell her that how attractive she still was. Compliments. That's what boyfriends are for.

"Tell me I'm the prettiest or we're through."

Clean lungs. Healthy heart.

There was no way second-hand smoke could have harmed her. He was not a smoker. He lived a healthy life and so did she. He would take her to the country side and she would enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. He had to suspend several business trips so they could go together. Because according to her, that's what boyfriends are for.

"Let's go, or I'll find another boyfriend to take me there."

No signs of depression.

Hers was a worry-free life. Before she could even detect the problem, he already resolved it for her. She was trained not to care, not to worry about almost everything. Worrying was his job. That's what boyfriends are for. He would be sick but he would tell her not to worry. He would buy and take his medicines all by himself. She would be sick and he would worry to death. A simple migraine and he would panic.

"Make the pain go away, or you'll lose me."

She was in perfect health the night he left her and yet she was found dead the following morning.

Grabbed: Seventeen Signs That You Truly Love Someone

I grabbed this from Marc A. I want people to comment whether or not it's true kasi eh. Haha. I couldn't comment kasi dahil nawawala yung post comment/reply button dito sa multiply. :(

Well, if I'll be asked, I think that it's not exactly love right away especially if they happen at a time na kakakilala mo pa lang sa person (or that time when you get to know the person pa lang). Parang may space for pondering or evaluation pa if it really is love. However, it might precede real love. Parang it still needs working out to reach a higher, stronger level. It might be an attraction, crush, or whatever too. Pero, so far the symptoms are quite accurate that I am tempted to remove the word "quite" preceding the word "accurate". Haha. :p

s e v e n t e e n :
You look at their profiles constantly.
S i x t e e n :
When you're on the phone/text with them late at night and they hang up/stop replying, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.
F i f t e e n :
You read their texts and IMs over and over again.
F o u r t e e n :
You walk really slow when you're with them.
T h i r t e e n :
You feel shy whenever they're around.
E l e v e n :
When you think about them, your heart beats faster but slower at the same time.
T e n :
You smile when you hear their voice.
N i n e :
When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you; you just see him/her.
E i g h t :
You start listening to slow songs while thinking about them.
S e v e n :
They're all you think about.
S i x :
You get high just from their scent.
F i v e :
You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them.
F o u r :
You would do anything for them, just to see them.
T h r e e :
While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time.
You were so busy thinking about that person, you didn't notice number twelve was missing.
One :
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself. :P

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Undeserved Miracle

Miracles may happen during a time that we don't expect it to happen. They also may happen in such a way that we do not expect it to. My personal miracles have so far been unexpected and bizarrely captivating.

I love miracles. They are like soft pinches that make me wake up and realize that everything is okay. They make me experience that feel-so-natural preconceived knowledge that life is light even with storms. We sometimes do forget the good sides of our days and find it hard to believe in them when darkness befalls our lives anyway.

I may not deserve goodness. I may also deserve punishment for what I've done. I always say that we only get what we sow, but I be proved wrong by the radiant reality that life is not as harsh as we deserve it should be.

Tonight, I pray for a miracle. I might have not been able to do the things that I should have done. I might have committed a lot of mistakes that cannot be undone. But, miracles are still miracles.

My Retreat

I've absconded like a vampire. I've retreated like a traitor in a war. I faced the challenges half-heartedly. I was watching for my own back and I was more than a coward. I should have turned to salt for what I have done but here I am today, seating comfortably.

Now, I am haunted by my faults. Much to my disappointment and reproach is that I have betrayed myself at such a time that I needed to do the most of and more than what I can. I have surrendered at an unpleasant time. I have chickened out when I should have been bold.

I'm guilty. I have no excuse. I have brought this disaster unto myself... and I must face them all.

I do not know what to expect. Let me be surprised. Let me be awakened.

Monday, December 1, 2008

My Missing Mornings

Days are as important as its mornings. Without it, they're just half of what they're meant to be. There is a lot to miss. This has always been my situation. If not for school, morning wouldn't be in my dictionary. As I ponder, I realize that I'm missing a lot of my days. There are a lot of things in my mind that I want to do yet I always lack the time to do them. It now makes sense why I always lose a lot on the going-ons. I want my mornings back. I still have, hopefully, more than half a life ahead.

Oh, I awoke late today
It's almost time for lunch
I've missed again sun's early ray
It's too late for a munch

With lots of things I have in mind
I feel empty inside
Deep inside, I have turned blind
The blow of wind I ride

I feel like I missed something out
But couldn't tell at all
I go on with the day's bout
Where I hear an unknown call

But then as I lay down at night
It hurts as I remember
I missed a day's half, alright
Yet then they are all over

Now I lay, inside I wish
For a new start for tomorrow
I'm now asleep yet soul's awake
I'll bid bye to this sorrow

Today, no, since yesterday, I start to vindicate my mornings. I'll have them all back with more intensity. See you soon, my missing mornings, for I shall find you.

The Advent of the Day

I've written a little something last night as I was about to sleep. I just couldn't stop savouring the taste and feel of the coming morning and the beauty of the night. It's as follows:

I miss the old, the morning shade
Where all is painted blue
It's almost like an age ago
That I've seen such scene, such view

So now in bed I make a wish
Hope it would come true
That this day on I'll start the day
Feeling all brand new

I've come to think of it, it's been quite some time since I've last seen the dawn where all is cold, blue, dark, yet what's exciting about it is that you expect the sun to show after quite a little while. Those times that I am able to behold the break of the day are a rarity. The reason is because I rarely ever wake up early in the morning... Even my morning classes are in jeopardy because I have a destructive habit of waking up late. I've never really given it much thought, I realize today.

The thought of the morning soothes me as I wrote this thought in my mind. It's late already -- you'll feel the chill. But somehow I feel sunlight already even though it's still less than 5 hours away from appearing. It just made me really yearn for the advent of the day when the sunlight hasn't yet lit the ground up. It's a cooling, rejuvinating experience, I ponder. Now, it makes me want to experience it more day by day.

I want sunlight in its first glance and rays. I want the morning where the dew are still untouched by light. I want the clouds that show a beautiful shade of blue. I like the streets colored all grey-blue. I want the coolness of the morning touching my soul and not just my skin. I want change. I want newness. I want this everyday.

Maybe it would be difficult for me to learn how to appreciate mornings the conventional way. But this spectacular encounter happening in my soul, I believe, would suffice for that need. It would all be easier now since I seem to have found a new purpose and understanding of the morning. It's an experience.

As I woke up today, I've never felt any better as if I didn't lack the sleep that I always did before. I somehow was able to capture a taste of the morning although it was less than perfect. This is a new day. This is a new start.


I'm staying up late again just thinking of stars - wishing, pondering, and dreaming awake. After all, stars are the most usual guests during night time. I'm glad they're there tonight.

Tonight, I can't explain if I'm excited, happy, or good because I don't have any reason to be so, but it's still what I feel. I don't know what's ahead of me yet I feel the excitement. I have lots of stacked-up things to do yet I do not worry. I should really be worrying but I find myself flying with the clouds in the grey sky.

Strength is coming as a new season enters. The season of eerie chill has now ended. The joy it has brought, though founded in gloom, is now just part of yesterday. The brightness of this new day is approaching even at midnight. It brings joy and gladness. It brings peace and silence with wisdom.

I'm in an entirely different place right now and all my comforts have come to a shattering. Though I might not know entirely where I am, I believe, though, that I will not be moved. I will be seen through. I will emerge as a victor. I'll prevail.

I now exhale.

Here I am still awake
Still up late at night
November's days I now forsake
A new season's a-flight

It's cold yet it warms my heart
The gloomy chill has bade
Lights are now out at part
A spark inside is made

I'm looking at the stars again
Wishing free, I'm wondering
Killing time with no gain
I ponder a new beginning

All of a sudden where I stand
I find myself in paradise
In the usual, nothing grand
I'm caught up in surprise

All right now I hear aloud
Is the strumming of guitar
Lull in peace, in a cloud
My hopes, my cares at par

Now I'm back at free verses with rhymes yet with no strict counts of syllables.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

They Dance

They dance and groove in the light
The beat set free, all set loose
Take a look at them tonight
Neon clothes, in frolic shoes

In the distance as I watch
Shadows, motions, frames in rage
My eyes wander just to catch
Apparitions, fire on stage

They dance and shout in all strength
As the speakers kicks aloud
Their gasps turn to heavy breath
As they mingle 'long the crowd

The moon, the sky they both fade
Eager bodies cannot wait
The men, for sure, knows their trade
Here awake as if not late

They dance and enjoy the height
Smiles in faces now engraved
But here I am, lone tonight
In the dark, a pit I paved

The Dead

As I reflected on who I am, a thought entered me. I felt deep silence despite the noise and the music playing on my ears. It seems like my eyes flew that I suddenly looked through the eyes of the dead. The dead are to be envied. They are able to enjoy silence, peace, and bliss as they leave this life. They are no more yet they are not affected.

The following passages are results of that meditated thought.

The peaceful. The undisturbed.
The unhurt. The pacified.
The silent. The arbitrer.
The conscious no more. The dead.

The rested. The sound slumber.
The careless. The unbiased.
The frozen. The withdrawn soul.
The one fortunate. The dead.

The first bid. The precedent.
The ended. The immediate.
The goodbye. The departure.
The sole-forsaker. The dead.

The at-hand. The coming soon.
The certain. The imminent.
The horror. The apprehend.
The last catch of breath. The dead.

The repeat. The new reborn.
The juncture. The intertwined.
The raptured. The paradised.
The non-suffering. The dead.


This we have is momentary
Our devotion slips, flies away
Happy now and later gloomy
'Cause no matter what, we can't stay

This festiveness I have inside
Might be here now and later gone
Our victory, things that give pride
Is uncertain, hides like the sun

But I've learned one thing, how to choose
Things you can keep for a lifetime
We're not little, no more, to lose
It's high season for our sublime

A momentary universe
I thought I had no other course
But then, these hands, creates my verse
To remove regret, the remorse

Remove these feather wings of mine
For they're for babes and not for lads
No need of cribs nor river's gush
To fly me to heavenly pads

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

USG - Waste of Time (Grabbed)

This is a very interesting post. You may want to read through the comments if you want to.

Nakakatawa ang SC. Nag plebiscite sila tapos hindi pala nila alam kng ano ang definition ng 50%+1. Obvious naman, 50%+1 is referring to the number of (yes) votes made by the members of the Student Council which includes the undergraduates.

So approximately, they need 5,000 or 4,500 and after the extension and extension and extension gusto na naman nila ng extension kasi hindi sila umabot.

Nakakatawa dahil "educating the students about the issue" daw ang problema. Eh kanino bang trabaho yun? Hindi ba sa inyo? Wala daw pakialam ang mga estudyante, well, totoo, wala talaga lalo na sa mga walang kwentang issue. May pakialam ang mga estudyante and nakialam sila kung ating matatandaan sa isyu ng paglilipat ng free day mula sa friday papuntang monday.

The Student Council has failed to educate the students about this issue.
The Plebiscite is a success but the decision is NO because it did NOT reach 50%+1.

Yung mga mukha niyo mga atat na atat sa pagbabago na hindi kailangan. Wag niyo na kaming lokohin at higit sa lahat wag niyo ng ipilit.

Tao ang dapat palitan, hindi ang sistema.

Taken from:

The Stranger

We never knew forever
When we were joined together
We see beauty in the vain
We can only see the gain

We can never grow farther
Nor apart from each other
We stay along all the while
During the day we just smile

Feel each other's company
Cry but still in harmony
That's ever since when we've met
Except this eve when we've left

Tonight is way much diff'rent
For my world, my truth now bent
Was filled, like thirst with water
But now I'm blind, I stutter

Friendship, dear, I tagged you with
Still no sense, I empt'ly breathe
Now I wonder who you are
Cos here right now, you're so far

In my bed I ask myself
I check the books in the shelf
Yet I can't find the answer
To who you are, a stranger

Maybe now's not the right time
To dabble and to clean grime
But it goes down to one fact
We're found on ground too abstract

Monday, November 17, 2008


THERE IS NO HACKER NAMED h4xor-nytmare. Stop passing that message around.

What really happened:
From the Friendster Forums,

We're aware of the problem that some users are having with missing friends. We experienced a major power outage the other day, that we're still recovering from.

We are actively working on resolving the problem with missing friends. Rest assured that no friends have actually been lost -- even though it may appear so on the website! The problem should be fixed within the next 24 hours. We apologize for this inconvenience.

Friendster Team

For more info:
from Network World;

By mhalligan on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 12:20pm.

A friend of mine just called me to tell me that QTS's Sunnyvale had a major power event today. Details are slim, but apparently it was an entire site outage. He told me that he's about 50th in line to get access to the facility right now. Due to this outage, Friendster is offline right now.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A Short Meta-Fictional Joke

I am Matthew (the persona speaking). I had this friend that once sent me a text message. The conversation goes as follows:

Friend: Uyy, Matthew, can I ask what your number is? It's just that I've changed my number already. This is your friend, .

Me: .

(Conversation ends).

Now, the twist is that I do not know whether I'll see it as something funny or scary eh. Hahaha. :p

Note: Well, this is just meta-fiction. That means that I'm reflecting it to real life and mixing fiction in it. Hahahah. :p

Friday, November 14, 2008

Grabbed: The Naughty In The Nerdy :))

And we thought that the cheesy lines made popular recently is all there is? Well, read on! :))

1. If I was an enzyme, I’d be helicase so I could unzip your genes.

2. Your skin is so smooth.... like endoplasmic reticulum.

3. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

4. You're so hot you denature my proteins.

5. You’re like telophase, I admire your cleavage.

6. You must be auxin, because you’re causing me to have rapid stem elongation.

7. I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.

8. You’re so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract.

9. I wish I was an Ion so I could form an exothermic bond with you.

10. It’s a good thing you've got evaporative cooling, cause I’m going to make you sweat.

11. Hey baby, want to form a synapse with me and exchange neurotransmitters?

12. If I were a Shwann cell, I'd squeeze around your axon and give you a fast action potential.

13. Want to be my substrate/enzyme?

14. Hey baby, want to form a zygote?

15. If my right leg is the cell wall and my left the membrane, do you want to be the cytoplasm?

16. My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I love you.

17. If you were a concentration gradient I'd go down on you.

18. If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

19. Girl whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

20. I want to stick to u like glue-cose.

21. You must be the one for me, since my selectively permeable membrane let you through.

22. My hypothalamus must be secreting serotonin because baby, I want you!

23. Hey baby, can I be your enzyme? because my active site is dying for a chemical reaction.

24. You give me more jolt than a mitochondria!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

My Stand of Controversy

I guess that this is the best place to place my stand although I am entitled to the right of expressing my concerns regarding school. I'm not really against the USG itself. It's just that I'm against the particular issues about it that were discussed (although not that much because the publicity focused on its positive sides alone) about the USG (Link:

Here's my stand on the USG, particularly based on the link above although in a different format:

It doesn't balance the boat. There was no enlightenment at all. There were just vague claims and defenses that lead to the path of nowhere except violence, force, and complications, and not of peace, bliss, nor productive governance (or more correctly, service).

Too much emphasis on the USG being the ideal student government structure has already been made to the point that there is only blind and forced obedience, making it appear as if the USG is all that seems best with all the beautiful words without even enough supporting data to prove the claims. All the flowery descriptions about the USG, on their own, aren’t EVER enough. Many students even vote for it without full knowledge of what it's really all about. It is even a torture to the student body that the Student Council demanded the students to vote on the USG without even enough effort of informing them of what the USG really is in a way that it’s not a sensationalized commercial or TV ad. There were just, in my knowledge and in my enthusiastic efforts of updating myself about it, some late multiply posts, vague yahoogroup threads, and some minor publicity stunts promoting it. I will always remember how my Philosophy professor always told us how the ad that “Papaya and Calamansi makes you whiter as it was said by Juday in her beauty-soap advertisement” was a deception. It was said that “Papaya makes you whiter, and Calamansi too – how much more, then, would the effect be if they are combined”. He, even of superior knowledge, insists nonchalantly about it being invalid. Much is the same to the USG.

Going about with just saying that the LA reps have devoted a few months in studying the USG doesn't mean that it's all polished up. We can wait all time for a useless meeting and not be able to come up at anything. Time is never a basis. Data and valid information is. In the world of research that we are in today, to say that something is factual requires real and concerete supporting evidences. Without it, it will appear as if the claims are only cooked-up. Data and information is what matters most.

The real duty of the representatives that we have today is to SERVE and protect the students and their rights, and nobody else's selfish interest. Aren’t those the center of the campaigns? The representatives, too, must, at the least, be (the ones who are) able to present substantial, concrete, complete, and detailed information about the studies, researches, findings, and other related documents essential about the USG to the student body. I believe that what LA reps could best do to help and serve the student body (and not anybody else's selfish interests) is to present and report to the student body what they have so-called studied and deliberated about, and not babble about their own subjective opinions. We have those too.

It seems as if only the LA reps know the real deal about the USG. All these dark parts of the USG just make it appear like the representatives has their own hidden agendas protected by flowery fronts. There are many positive claims about the USG without even enough concrete data or evidence and examination presented to the student body. Some even claim that there is concrete evidence, but where are they? Now, how about the dark areas of USG? If the students do not know anything about them, that darkness will only, in the future, eat us. As the moral maxim says, "our mistakes can never be corrected by another set of mistakes". It appears as if we should only follow the things based on what others say, or more popularly, what “they” say. But, you see, as we all know that the students are involved, they need concrete data about the USG and what had happened in the few months of the so-called deliberations about the USG too. Presenting them to us will help a big bunch.

Also, not because the LA reps are the formal (the formalities) reps of the student bodies, they're the only ones entitled to the info discussed during the LA delibs, and to decision and opinion. We want and need that info too. We have minds to think with too. The student body isn’t a collection of stupid people. They have brains that work. They obviously can understand. If they couldn't so, the ones in the student council, being students too, would be, in no offense, stupid. We don't need "yayas" to feed us our meals anymore. They only need to prepare our food and we can do the eating on our own. Soon enough, we are on our way to preparing our own food, and with that, we can select what we want to eat. We also do not need anybody to tell us what beautiful is. Present a particular object, and with our own gift of perception, we can judge whether an object is beautiful or not. Believe us. We can.

The students deserve the real deal. The students deserve to know the real info -- the black, the white, and the gray parts too. All of the students have the right to credible information. That means that the information presented to them shouldn't be at all distorted, manipulated, or bent by any power. It is our right to know everything about the USG. Failure to do so is a violation of our student rights.

I hope that this illusion of balance be abolished and dispelled soon along with the surface of the truth. We cry out for real credible information (and not opinion). We cry out for our rights.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I Need To Remember

This time, I'm in no need for others to remember me...
It won't make sense if I don't even remember myself anymore...
I just need to remember who I am, was, and will be...
This is an urgency...
So, don't forget, please, to remember me...

Friday, October 24, 2008

Midnight Snack

This isn't much of a bell-ringer to me because the usual breakfast-lunch-dinner with a little merienda in the midday is enough for me. However, tonight's just a little bit special because I actually had a literal midnight snack (and actually am having one). Haha. :)

Right now, I have SkyFlakes as my midnight snack. Yep, you're right. The plain-flavoured biscuit in rectangles that has holes in it. Haha.

Now, you might want to ask me why I should be writing a blog about such a petty thing as that. Well, here's the thing: for a few days now, I've had a fever. And, just recently, I've discovered the significance of the term called "paracetamol". Hahaha. And, I just figured out that your tummy should have at least something in it when you take them. So, though you get it already, it's just because of the simple reason that I had to eat something in line with taking meds. Hahaha. :))

However, come to think of it, this is what midnight snack literally means -- eating snacks during midnight. Since I'm having one due to indirect necessity, It just makes me wonder what makes other people have one too. Lol. :)

When Things Change

I need to write this one. Period. For so long a time of silence, I need to say something. It's been quite long since I've last squeezed out some juice of words to colour the pages of my blog. I believe, however, that now is the time to do such a thing again.

Change is indeed inevitable. However, when we change, I believe that we must be aware of it. If things go out of hand and control, it is the time when it is the most difficult to handle change. When the things we become and have changed into are images that we aren't familiar of nor comfortable to look at, that is when we'll have a hard time coping with change.

I myself have experienced quite a bountiful number of changes in me too. As I reminisce and try to remember who I was before, I think of trying to "get back" the things that I know I was... but with that thought, a conflicting idea enters in -- since change is inevitable, is it necessarily good, and should we just be caught up in its raging currents? Or should we fight its course?

Today, I'm not about to answer that question that I have in mind. I think that answers aren't what I need right now. I can say that because even now, my mind's caught up with lots of cares to even add another heavy one. What I need today is a simple release. A breather. An exhale. A cool down. Comfort. Relief. I think that babbles are enough. I don't need another ounce of intelligent foolishness. I don't need another ton of worldly wisdom that won't even move me anywhere were I should be, only blinding me of my original course and direction in life. If I'll draw the road that I'm in, I'll draw myself in the middle of a corn-field of tall plants that blind me of where I am.

Right now, what I need is enlightenment, enough for me to understand who I am (again -- if that word applies). I just want to be versed again of the meaning of my life. I want to go the path that I once knew.

Did I have amnesia? Or is it just because I got too much carried away of my cares in this world? Those ones, especially, that I even hate doing? What have I turned into? Yes, this is change and it is constant, but is it supposed to run out of control? Is it supposed to ruin me? Am I supposed to reach the lowest, darkest depths of the earth just for me to see light again? Is that the routine that we all should take before we learn or even see the light?

Now that these words has been said, I guess that this is where my journey begins.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I'm Never Gonna Pretend To Know Anymore

I'm never gonna pretend like to know the things that I do not really know that much anymore. I think that it has become my habit to conquer everything that challenges me even if they're the first time that I've encountered them. There's this sort of pride in me that needs to finish them off out at once. In turn, things end up as disasters, not victory. My zeal, or rather, lack of patience hurts more than it stitches. I achieve the end, but by unpleasant means. The saying "the end doesn't justify the means" rings on my ear with me saying this.

Today, however, I've given up. I'm tired of trying to do what is clearly beyond what I can do. I'm tired of promising people that I'm gonna do something for them that I do not really know of. I'm tired of hearing them ask me if I've done it yet with me still struggling to find out how to do so.

With this honesty in hand, I begin to learn genuinely. As I acknowledge my weaknesses and limitations, I actually identify my threshold and my points for expansion.

Today, this is how I'll do things -- I'll identify those that I can readily do and just normally do them. Now, with the things that I do not know doing yet, I'll admit that I can't do them. However, I am open to learn them. Starting now, bring it all on. I have a new rhythm anyway. ;)

Cute Animals: On Lovely Snakes This Time

Since I have this advanced-season setup, lemme ask dear Santa something for Christmas (although I know that it would probably take more years to be fulfilled). I hope that I see a film showing the "cute side" of snakes in it where they're the star. There are some 3D animated films out there, but they still only as far as characterize snakes as having deceitful and cunning thinking. I wanna see them animated to talk like just another animals are animated -- looking cute. I wanna see them yawn, laugh, open their mouth wide-open while talking just like any other animals are depicted. Imagine those sharp teeth spraying out while they're innocently talking, yet they're not out there to scare people out -- an extremely hilariously entertaining and joyous sight. I hope that such a time may come, even if it be short.

All of us probably see snakes as scary animals (if not for machismo in the house). This is exemplified through all the movies so far ever recorded (or tell me if it isn't so). From the recent film "Snakes on a plane" among others, we could only help but see them as fierce and poisonous animals. Why is it always like that? Do they really need to be feared? Oh, I guess that here enters the biblical text on how the Serpent who used to have hands and legs until they were removed and the serpent was turned into a crawling, creeping being, much like snakes. But, are we so sure of the real and literal translation of those mystical biblical texts to just so easily conclude that snakes equate and symbolize evil and evil alone?

Can we, this time, see snakes as beautiful animals, even just for a while? And, would it hurt to make it last longer? Can we, for a moment, exempt them a little bit from those that were literally written in the biblical texts? We're in the age of grace today anyway, so why not have it applied for such an animal? Besides, they were created by God anyway as it said that "God created creeping beings". Satan is a different, although similar, story. He possessed the serpent who had hands and legs, much like an image of dragons. Well, the point is, it was about deception. But, do snakes have the same deception in them? Why do we so readily judge? Oh, we stereotype so much. *sighs* :(

BTW, since this post is about cute animals, I just wanna say how CUUUUTTTEEEE this dog in the office is! It looked like a wolf, with the soft fur and color. I just love it! Hahaha! I'm gonna visit him (or her, since i still do not know yet, haha) frequently! Argh! Hahaha. I love that lil dogling. Aww. Haha. :)

Why I like Poetry More

In this post, I'll explain why I like poetry entries more (in reading and writing) than essay-journal-ey type of entries and fiction.

It's not that I do not like literary works other than poetry. I enjoy reading and writing down my thoughts too in such a format other than poetry. But, I just find myself skipping down on entries of blogs that I do not own when I see long lines unless I really find them interesting and something that I can relate to -- that is how I judge what relevant as a word is. I want to find personal meaning in what I read and write. I want to enjoy it and be able to connect with it. That is why I oftentimes find myself lost and not able to enjoy the glories of fiction unless if it's discussed in a facilitated talk-like manner. Only then can I see its significance, thus, only then, too, am I able to connect with it.

An exception to those I am not fond of reading entries are those such that I personally and directly can relate to, or at least, paint out on my mind happening. Other people's opinions, if they do not connect nor relate to my world, are more difficult to read and be appreciated because I am compelled to comprehend an entirely different world. I find it very insignificant. I do not have that much patience in me right now.

Long essay-like and opinionated posts are often passed-through by my eyes as I really feel detest or abounding distaste for spending time absorbing them. I do not really enjoy debates and formulating ones. But, if an issue involves me in it and my thoughts, if it provokes my mind and stimulates me to react and air out my noble side, if I fail to evade it, that is the only time that I will respond to those kind of entries. Those are the exempted reads that I go on through. Like I said, I find it time-wasting to hunt for debate-hot reads. Debates only spark when they reach me, not me reaching them. I do not form them. They are only formed when they touch me.

Now, the reason why I like poetry more than long-written thoughts (essays and journal accounts of other people) is because their vividness and briefness captivates me. In a choice number of words is a whole new set of words that multiply itself into infinity. Poetry expands itself every millisecond -- or, in fact, immeasurable all the time it is written, appreciated, and touched. It's like the universe in characteristic -- no one can fathom its space.

Aside from that, I just really appreciate its simplicity in every way. The way it is written with lines in different simple but unique systems of order makes me feel like the knots on my head loosen up unlike long personally-written non-poetry entries. They don't give you a hard time putting yourself in it while you read them. They tell and bare it all right away like they easily connect and attach to your skin and your head-bulbs. But, the ease of riding them doesn't mean that they lack substance nor depth. Their immortal essence are only that powerful that they cling to your eyes, ears, and heart right away with that full, ripe content and meaning.

Aside from these reasons, I believe that there are more. To different people, different special thoughts and characteristics can be painted out, making it just more special to read and behold. Its different tastes are all equally wonderful, beautiful, and are worthy to be appreciated.

Up to now, I still haven't found my fondness for fictional literary works. However, I've promised myself recently to open up myself to such pieces of art. Someday, I hope, I'll be there. Time will tell the story. I will listen by then.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Are There Shortcuts to Friendship?

A tower will fall, crash and burn, when an earthquake hits it if its foundation hasn't been laid out well. Just like friendship.

So far, the best friendships that I ever had are with the ones, among others, I've worked with in unity, understanding, trust, and challenges. Others are the ones formed through nurtured communication and preservation of the relationship, even if it started out as being acquaintances. Unlike the ones formed through hanging out long hours doing nothing but idleness and waste of time, they last longer and are better ground for culturing and taking care of.

Pseudo-friendships always crack and are ever in need of patching up. And, why is that? I've experienced before how my friendship connections fail. But, there is always a need to repair them after the chaos. The problem is that it always goes the same way and it has become a cycle. In the end, I feel like I never had any real friend, and I go on soul-searching. It stresses me out. I hunger and plea for genuine friends and I feel that there are none. I feel like I'm a horse with eye-patches on the side of my view so that I can only see one direction.

From that, I've learned how to distinguish the different types and levels of relationships there are that I have with others, and how to, like with ground, culture them to help in forming them into genuine relationships.

We must start our relationship with others from the base. We cannot continue right away from the top. We must also know who those are that are really there, and who those are that we only illusion of in being there. If we choose the wrong pieces of wood and blocks of stones, it will fall down like an uno-stack-o that doesn't fit well. We mustn't commit the mistake of assuming those that aren't really meant to be friends or are already friends as real friends while they're not. We must lay down the foundations well first before it gets ready to stand tall, strong, and glorious. It cannot be made historical and monumental unless it's made in the right way.

So, today, let me ask a question. Do we make genuine friends in just an instant? By just hanging out with them (doing vanity), and presto, we're good friends? Are there shortcuts to friendship?

In The Eyes of a Gunman

Do we understand the mind of murderers? Aside from the insatiable and the dark lust for creeping blood, is there something more? With the addiction for control, what's the real cause?

It's a matter of having the sense of control for life's partiality. Think of these words: we are all likely to die; it's just a matter of who holds the gun. There is equality, then. But, it is obtained through unpleasing means. Injustice is turned to justice in the eyes of a gunman. And, when that happens, that man's justice becomes injustice in the eyes of the law. In the end, life's unfairness becomes like a trap that nobody seems to be able to escape from...

Well, I guess that it just seems that way. If we could only see outside the box. If we could only have seen bigger, wider, broader, there could've been more solutions and means than just ending life.

Here's an entry about being in the eyes of a gunman:

You thought you're in control
Well, look at you now
Now, I hold your soul
And in your knees you bow

Who do you think are you
With all this vain luxury?
Today, I shall take you
Down to the grave with me

We are all equal
And all likely to die
Life ain't impartial
Heights fall, the low fly

And here for us today
Is a day of reckoning
Now the role I play
Of the gunman like a starling

This nice little trigger
Has been created for you and me
It's just that I'm luckier
So say goodbye, honey

Monday, October 6, 2008

I Blew It

This day has been a wreck. Well, it’s not that harsh a word to use to describe the day. That is a fact. At least, the reason why I can say that is because, in all honesty, that is what perfectly describes it.

It started yesterday, a Sunday, that I started to plan the things that I need to do with great need. I, miraculously, too, have started doing this time-management thing even if I really wasn’t fond of it. I just hate time-management (or it hates me) and I don’t really get how it works. But, however, yesterday was different. With things to do piled up for this week, I really had the need to accomplish tasks. Well, that’s for a start – a fuel for time management.

During the course of the day, with me listing down the things that I need to do on my organizer, I was able to follow through some of the things that I listed down. That is for the start of it. As expected, after being able to do some of the things (with a little compromise or acceptable adjustments in it), I over-did a task (on the list) a little. I overslept (for quite a number of minutes). Starting from that, there have been side-track errand requests from the external forces or the environment. To put it off, I wasn’t entirely able to follow the time-frame plan which I allotted to do my review for my Trigonometry quiz, and later, for my Business and Organizational Management quiz for that day’s tomorrow. It then became more and more difficult for me to keep up with my plan, struggling to find my way into starting what I need to do and finish for the “time-frames”. In simple words, I have been time-frame-bound, trapped, and stuck. Yes, I really felt stuck that there’s this one time that I totally got out of my ego-control which led me to hang out a while at the terrace to breathe in air and blow out suffocating air from within me.

After that, I just tried to accept that I simply cannot follow my plan. Part of that is due to my fault, and I admit that. Starting then, again, I was able to continue my reviews although it was already late. I do not want to forget mentioning that I was having a hard time to do that, yet I continued on.

The plans were done but with such costly exchanges. I was able to review one out of two subjects but I didn’t have a great time. I wasn’t able to do my best. I didn’t really grasp them the way I should be able to. It wasn’t that efficient, nor that effective too.

Today, a Monday, the day of doom because of my faults, (yes, I have myself to blame for, which quite honestly stresses me out, argh) I overslept again. I woke up two-hours before I actually got off my bed. And, as expected, I was groggy again. Like before times that I overdid my sleep, I felt like I lack energy. Maybe it was due to my body pain for days because of workout, but I guess it really has something to do with me not doing what I should do – waking up when my body told me to do so. With that in mind, I came to a thought that it probably is something about me. With that happening over and over again, there must be something wrong (or whatever) in me that I do not see that I should see. I thought that I might need to understand myself more. I began to feel that these things happening might only be pointing out something in me that I do not know of. I began to formulate the idea that I might be a hard-headed person. I saw disobedience and disinterest in those deeds of mine. However, seeing those things made me think of doing things next time with my whole heart in it all the time, that whenever there is a task, I should try my best to do it with sincere and earnest intent.

Also, as a result of my pseudo time-management, I’ve also learned a little something. I’ve learned how to set goals for the week which I believe is quite a something. I think that I’m gonna start off with mini week-long goal-setting to get me through. And, for this week, my goal is to correct all the flaws that I’ve committed for the past week. I guess that would be enough for a start since it’s still just a Monday. That just means that there’s still a lot more opportunities for success for the week.

Yes, I blew it, screwed up, crushed and burned, and have sunk low (that it hurts). However, there’s something more for me. I ripped off with the Trigonometry exam, maybe, but I believe in favour. Or, in more understandable terms, I believe in that which is in store for me. There is a God who loves me. Now, all I have to do is go on with the day with Him by my side and see all bliss there is wonderfully waiting for me.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

How I Missed You

This is how you miss someone: you long to touch, to embrace, and to just stay at that one's presence. There are more other ways.

What's so special in missing someone is the moment that you finally get to be together again with that person. The feeling of joy overwhelms you. There is nothing much more to say than goodness and "how I missed you so much"-es.

I've been away
For quite some time now
But it's different today
As I see your face somehow

The feeling of home
Warms me, rejuvenates my heart
It tickles to the bone
Whispers, "we'll never 'gain be 'part"

I laugh at how silly
It was to think I blamed you
All that I could see
Was that you left without a clue

But then I knew along
As I blinded myself with pride
You sought me hours long
When I from home depart

The comfort of my bed
At last, I once again could touch
The torments in my head
Have fled, as me you patch

The only thing
That I could lastly say
I'll forever sing
How I missed you everyday

Take Me Away

Take me away
Cos I can't anymore
Last for another second

Don't make me stay
In this place cos I
Wanna be where You are

In you is gladness
Refuge, strength
Bliss forever and ever

You cover my sadness
Carry me in with Your
Arms and wings of angels

I remember that You
Told me we're One
I just want to believe

I know it's true
How You said that I
Carry Your name inside

You are my answer
To cries and confusion
My only working solution

My strong tower
Proved your words
Worked amazement and wonder

Monday, September 22, 2008


I figured that it won't benefit us anything if we spend time lying idle, thinking that whatever weight we have with us will fly away with time. I guess it never will. It would be like you're trying to find your way in a room with your eyes closed yet you have the privilege to open them. I also think that to sleep away the stresses would help more.

First of all, when you kill time doing nothing and trying to fill in the emptiness in you yet you know that you're doing nothing profitable or you do not exactly have a certain direction at that point of time, you only waste it. It's like dipping your feet in a basin full of water yet what really needs to be washed are your hands.

Second, when you wake up early in the morning (or whatever time it may be), you'll feel refreshed and your mind is all energized and new. You'll be able to think more smoothly. Who knows, that might just be all you need to handle what you're in that moment.

Now I know what vanity is.

Friday, September 19, 2008

I've done 71 out of 144 stupid things ---> Ugh. I was bored. Haha. :))

Level 1
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) done weed
( ) drank alcohol


Level 2
(x) been in love
( ) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight


Level 3
(x) snuck out of the house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date


Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept (not sex) with a co-worker (co-workerS)
(x) seen someone/something die


Level 5
(x) had/have a crush or liked on one of your friends.
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
( ) been on a plane
( ) thrown up from drinking


Level 6
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
( ) been mosh pitting

SO FAR: 10

Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
( ) taken pain killers
(x) love/loved someone who you can’t have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel

SO FAR: 12

Level 8
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress ups

SO FAR: 16

Level 9
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledging
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

SO FAR: 20

Level 10
(x) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
(I'm too numb, I really haven't even though those with me have, haha) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake

SO FAR: 22

Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed/vandalized someone
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a deer

SO FAR: 25

Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle/4-wheeler accident

SO FAR: 28

Level 13
( ) had/have braces
( ) eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 30

Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes

SO FAR: 33

Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
( ) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying

SO FAR: 36

Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored w/crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

SO FAR: 41

Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) kissed in the rain

SO FAR: 43

Level 18
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach

SO FAR: 44

Level 19
(x -- felt like I crashed one but was still a kid back then, haha) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone roller-skating/blading
(x) had a wish come true

SO FAR: 47

Level 20
( ) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "you suck" in class
( ) swam with dolphins

SO FAR: 47

Level 22
( ) got your tongue stuck to a freezer/ice cube
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex’s clothes
(x) sat on a roof top

SO FAR: 49

Level 23
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night

SO FAR: 52

Level 24
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had been in a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone

SO FAR: 54

Level 25
( ) believe in ghosts
(x) have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
(x) gone streaking
( ) gone to jail

SO FAR: 56

Level 26
(I know this one, but haven't) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused

SO FAR: 59

Level 27
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) almost drowned in a pool
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed

SO FAR: 62

Level 28
( ) mooned/flashed someone
(x but didn't succeed) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
( ) slept naked
( ) French braided someone’s hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
(x) been kicked out of your house

SO FAR: 66

Level 30
(x) rode on a roller coaster
( ) went scuba-diving/snorkeling
( ) had a cavity
( ) Black-mailed someone
(x) been black mailed

SO FAR: 68

Level 31
(x) been used
(x almost) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
( ) licked someone


Repost this with:

''I've done __ out of 144 stupid things"

A Short Comment On "Pro-Choice or Pro-Life"

That's just like asking whether you're for Obama or for McCain. Well, that's too much a point for debate, but it, our choices, also say a lot about who we are.

About Pro-Choice: can we be sure that our choices are the right ones? Are the good ones? I hope so.

About Pro-Life: a one-way choice. Pro-life means that it isn't pro-death or other opposing ways. It's just like saying pro-right, pro-good. It's main aim is for the good which is life. I dunno. Maybe people today just don't mind what's good or not.

If a dirty man thinks he's not dirty, what then is dirty to him and how dirty is it? The same goes with how great the darkness of a man is if he sees his darkness as light. Think of that.

The Right To Write

We all have the right to write. It is actually a joy to see people exercising their creative abilities. However, it is also another deeper joy to see yourself part of that practice and actually knowing that you are fortunate enough to receive recognition and distinction in it. Haha. :)

Kudos for every writer out there. ;)

My Own Story of Self-Sufficiency

Today, having woke up at 12 noon, I virtually had only half the day there is. My lined-up activities for today are the following: 1) basic necessities; 2) go to school to fix my enrollment stuff; 3) and other things that I could think of to kill time. That is how complicated my day should be. However, my own story of self-sufficiency stretches way beyond today. It extends even to my yesterdays and my tomorrows. It's a summary of my WHOLE life. Simply said, I am a lesson of surrender and the epitome of neediness.

It is not the first time, if I ever do, that I feel the "need" to draw closer to the Abba, Father. I have an innate call to feel His warmth, even at least every season. There is no miss in my life that I feel the necessity of drawing strength from Him. There are also numerous times that I grieve and long for His words as if my tummy went overnight without food. That is, also, recently what I've been through. However, I do not want to cage this experience by my yesterday. It is a lifetime privilege and blessing, I believe.

With this certain voice inside me calling, as if a natural mechanism of my soul, I may say that I experience the difficulty of answering such internal call to draw near. I almost all the time fail. I only see myself successfully clinging to Him at my lowest point and I think that it has become difficult for me to wait for those situations alone for me to gain His help, His hand.

But, with all said and done, today is something new. While I was on my way to school today, as I was seated on a Green Star bus, I was hearing His voice calling over and over again at my name. I can't really explain "how" I can say I "heard" His voice because it's a mixture of physical, spiritual, mental, and other factors inside me. These things just cannot be easily grasped by physical or human terms because they are way beyond it. With me looking out the window, I was sensing Him telling me that I can only succeed in everything, particularly my enrollment problems and concerns, through His power and strength, and that I am weak.

I agree to that voice anyway. All I've ever done by myself has all been failures, stresses, disappointments, and short-falling glories that have their moments together with the ill effects in them. I knew that today, my immediate yet somewhat long-term enrollment concern, would shatter me if I try to fix it by myself. I also knew that His STRENGTH, bigger than mountains, and not to speak of the universe, is the only force that can move this hill in front of me. I can try, yes, but I fear and I know that I will only worsen the situation. The best and only option, then, is to just give up.

Yesterday, as I was fixing my stuff, I found out that I carried with me an Our Daily Journey book. This book is what I'm using since I do not have a copy of the popular Our Daily Bread book. It was also actually quite funny because out of all the times I was searching madly for it in times of dire need, I could find nothing, only to find out that it was with me all along. How ironic! During the travel on the bus, with this voice speaking inside me, my hands moved as if it needed to reach out this booklet. I took my time, though, and relaxed a little bit first. I did not want to be dictated of what I know or think I need. I want to read because I need to read and not because I THINK that I should read.

For September 19, 2008, the passage was taken from Psalm 42:1-6. It was about dears whose sufficiency is on the rivers of the water. The author, Joe Stowell, compared the gazelles with camels. Camels can live for 3 months without water in the desert. Gazelles, on the other hand, need water for their "fast-paced existence" just the way they were described in the psalm: they pant for water. The author also said that "we weren't built for life in a spiritual desert. We were built-redeemed, in fact-for regular, satisfying access to the refreshing presence of God in our souls".

With that, I saw how much I was so self-sufficient. I thought I could do it all and that I am mighty by myself. I was utterly wronged. I felt like I lived in the desert and it opened my eyes. That time I prayed to God to restore me and place me in His paradise once again. I wanted to be in a place where the only need is Him and Him alone. Today, that is what I've learned. I can REALLY DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST. Amen. :)


After having arrived at the College's Office to talk to the Academic Assistant about my enrollment disaster and concern, I prayed that whatever that's gonna happen is in His mighty hands already. I told myself that I need not to worry anymore. There are no accidents, I tell myself.

After a short while, the Acad. Assistant arrived and I was able to talk to her. To cut short, she told me that they did something to reconsider the applicants whose requests were rejected. For that, I thank God. To think that I had a lot of explanations, points of debates and concerns, and criticisms prepared and to have not been able to use them? Argh. I am a fool. Still, with the results still coming out tomorrow, it still is in God's hands and not mine.

I went off the office thanking the ones that needed to be thanked (including, of course, the Father), and went on my way. Then, too, I met some of the guys I knew who are part of the Student Council which I was hoping to talk to about some concerns. To cut that moment short too, I was invited to join them to be part of the Student Council which was also already what I had in mind.

Wow. All these in one shot? I just can only say that all I need is Him. Period and proven. So, stop your being self-sufficient now. Plug in, as they say, to the ultimate source of power and possibilities. Hahaha! :)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

To Starbucks? Or Not To Starbucks?

I wonder.

I'm pretty much not a Starbucks person. Aside from the expensive caffè latte's, another thing that drive's me off like a negative magnetic force from Starbucks is that I think that it's just vanity. Oh, well. I guess I'm not as Lasallite as they come. I don't see myself going there, socializing, and making myself obliviously comfortable yet attention-catching. Maybe I'm just not that type of person cos I'm a low-profiler or an independent. Cafes, to me, are too posh; and I'm not. However, until recently, and several times before, most especially during times of utter need for coffee boosts, I've been seeing myself as having day-dreams of boozing with Starbucks coffee. Ugh!

I just suddenly remember this Nickelodeon cartoon that I've watched before (I don't really remember the title). The cartoon character got addicted to coffee; pretty much caffeine-addicted that she relies on coffee alone for her energy needs throughout the day. She's turned to abusing her body everyday: sleeping late at night and cramming -- all with the help of coffee. Maybe that's where the stigma with coffee came from since I wasn't that much of a coffee person until recently this year when the first term started.

It's not really taboo for me to help myself with a Starbucks goodie or whatever but I just find myself not delving into such seemingly luxury that much. I'm a practical person. However, I think the time has come, and so has the reasons, for me to begin trying Starbucks. Yeah, you read that right. But it doesn't mean that I'm gonna be an addict, a Starbucks-fanatic or a regular customer .It's just that I think that I'm considering trying this personally different practice for the first time. Again, I just don't really see myself as somebody who digs these types of establishments because I personally think that they're too classy for me. But then again, I think that it's just part of conquering the world. It's part of change. The time has come for the simple I am to try the world around me and know more. Maybe it's just that.

One more thing that I think would bring my feet inside Starbucks is, guess what... friends! I really think that it's gonna be very boring to hang out at Starbucks all by yourself especially if you're not comfortable with such places. Friends really make 'Starbucks' and other classy cafe experiences pocket-and-worth-while. Haha. And, ah. The friendship thing again. I think that needs a little workout but it would do. There are a lot of them around anyway. Haha. Gone be the boring me! :)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

What's The Secret of Hot Milk w/ Honey?

I wonder. I think that's what hit me right now.

I guess they have the so-called phyto-lullabyers. Those really give you give internal massage that you would love enough to make you sleep (yawns).

I guess this is just my way of saying good night. Lol! :))

Saturday, September 6, 2008

1 Reason Why I Should Still Touch My Friendster

There is still one reason why I believe I should still maintain my Friendster account apart from my Multiply. I have realized that just now. Finally, the time is over when I ask and wait for answers to satiate my anxiety.

Friendster and Multiply cannot be compared. Their individual functions seem quite the same but they are different. They suit different people and different (although similar) kinds of needs.

Allow me to share one brief reason why I now had a reason to maintain my Friendster account as lively as I did before and as lively as "lively" means. I have just realized that there are certain friends of mine who are more of a "Friendster" person than a "Multiply" person. Most take sides and quite a handful are able to balance the two sides of their Online Networking life.

I have realized that those specific people who prefer using Friendster more in a way that they are much comfortable with it than Multiply, have specific patterns of behaviour or have a particular personality or unique preference. Multiply users also show particular characteristics and lifestyles that are a bit different than those who prefer to use Friendster more. In all this, we simply cannot take away Friendster from it's devotees nor can we to Multiply followers. But, there might be some change of preference of users in one point of time that I believe takes a kind of process to occur. I am a personal witness.

Although, other than Friendster and Multiply, there are more sites like MySpace, FaceBook, Tagged and a growing more number of similar ones, the two that I've talked about are, for me, quite prominent, and because they're the ones I particularly use. I have tried some of the other networking sites but they never really had me commit because they, for me, lacked substance and just seem like mere shadows of the ones we already know.

Some of my dear Friends show a more deal of passion in using Friendster. They are more expressive when using Friendster and they enjoy the simplicity and upfrontness that Friendster serves them. I figured that it is a great thing to connect with them in Friendster with the same ideal, same approaches. After all, fun is what Friendster should be (all) about anyway. With all these in mind, I've finally decided to pursue somehow an active use of Friendster at the same time, keep my Multiply account for different purposes.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Evening Finalé: Of Gay Call Center Agents and of Service

Just this night, I slept pretty early. Way early and I loved it. I went to bed at 8PM in the evening. Maybe 30 mins. later, after having completely recovered from the heavy tummy due to eating, I was finally able to sleep.

Even before that, while it was still earlier than 8PM, I felt sleepy already due to resting in the terrace with my Radio on. The neighbors, by the usual, were beginning to play their streak of Videoke session of which almost everyone I know of asks me what occasion there is for such a noisy celebration. If they're not drinking beer together almost every after nights, they are doing Karaoke.

By some wonderful coincidence, with my Radio on to cover the noise from the neighboring house, I happened to hear a song on the radio that said what my heart contains that time. I prayed it out to my Dear Father God after which I felt lighter. The terrace is where I thought of sleeping early. After that, I went downstairs to brush my teeth which I did only after finishing the distraction of donuts and more food.

My sleep was really sound and pleasant. It was pretty peaceful and I loved it if not for the noise made by the neighbors building up. Not only were the neighbors the ones who were noisy -- my brother who was near where I slept was starting his own compendium of disturbance. It was a SOUND sleep indeed that woke me up completely a few minutes before 11PM. I muttered, half-consciously, that "I can't sleep with all the noise of the neighbors going on and you [my brother] playing your MP3s pretty loud!" That pissed me off the way how a peaceful sleeper should be when rid and robbed of his state of liberty and comfort. The things that went on were all normal by far.

So, when I woke up, I picked up my mobile phone after it vibrated from at the bottom of my feet in the bed and saw two (2) text messages waiting for me to be read. I replied to a text message of a friend, Mike, who unusually said "hi...". At first I thought that he probably has something really BIG, IMPORTANT, and URGENT to tell me for him to text me in that unusual time of night. That made me reload my mobile account immediately because I only had 1 peso left because I don't fancy text messaging anymore as compared to before. Haha.

The talk went on, and I noticed that the "tone" of text of this friend of mine, Mike, seemed to go strange. I was expecting that he was about to say something sensitive, maybe ask something about his girlfriend, or I was worrying that they're going through hard times again, so I obliged myself in answering his messages. The messages went on and 'he' seemed to go on asking about mundane, insensible stuff. He's not like that -- he's logical, rational, and prideful when you talk to him, and then he just goes on talking to me like we're 'friend' friends? A few texts more and I thought he sounded like his girlfriend and that I told him. He began to reply in such a way that I could recognize his text message "tone". A few messages more revealed that he was really with Jamie and that they were in the Asian Hospital because Jamie's mom, whose daughter is Mike's girlfriend, has been hospitalized due to some sort of viral gastro infection or something... So that explains the weird messages in between. I won't detail on the contents of the message to avoid crazy controversies! :))

Alongside with that, I talked to lolo Jaime, the youngest brother of my dear lola Herminia. They have just arrived today because lolo Jaime escorted his daughter, Tita Aimee (I'm not sure how it's spelled), here to help with the office work. That time when I woke up due to the completely peace-shattering noise everywhere, my mom asked me to prepare a bed for lolo Jaime to sleep on. There was this folding bed in the Terrace and sleeping there would be nice because of the cool evening breeze. I installed the bed and escorted lolo Jaime in.

During that time, something striked my mind about the whereabouts of lolo Jaime's home was because he asked me if I had ever been where they live, in Maragondon, Cavite, before. I just so remembered Jollie Diquit, a good friend of mine in De La Salle University - Dasmariñas, who also was a fellow BUTIL (Basic University Training In Leadership) Lasalyano delegate and proud member. She was a distinguished student-leader too and has been in pretty good terms with me. I used to help her and her friends in difficult programming projects, assignments, lessons, and more. The extent of our friendship exceeds in a way that I trust Jollie as a really good friend, and on her side, I believe she shows confidence in what I can do. To top it off, I discovered that she too is an understanding Christian friend which eliminates big gaps, and adds up to the bridge of connection for the two of us. That sums up our harmonious friendly relationship.

Even before that, the reason why she came to my mind is because the first time I met her was when my high school classmate, Jescelle Villanueva, of two years, 2nd and 4th year, introduced her to me as one of their prided-at block-mates. She was sometimes referred to as the "best of her class" and/or "the 'Ate'" of their block. One of Jescelle's introductory information about her is that she belonged to the few ones who used to pass the difficult subjects where only a select and really worthy few could. Also, during that time, Jollie, this beautiful lady whom I have just newly met, told me that she thinks that I looked familiar. She thinks and she insisted that she saw me before. She asked me if I've been to 'Maragondon before' and I told her that I'm not sure but I think I'm a bit familiar with the name.

I tried my very best, that time, to recall what and/or where Maragondon is and I was able to remember a few trace of what or where it was. I remember the architect's house where my mother side's clan gathered together for a family reunion. That was the time where there was a carnival and other fancy stuff going on probably because of the fiestas. I think that WAS the Maragondon that she was talking about. However, I just couldn't remember a trace of her face in that event. It's probably because I was quite oblivious and self-centered the time I visited the site. I only wanted home and computer games and/or special treatments. Haha.

With that aside, I came back asking lolo Jaime if he knew the Diquit clan. He told me he does. He told me a lot about their local life and other stuff like how he was connected to the politicians here and there, and he explained to me what the genealogical connections were. At that time, I really got excited because the pieces finally started to fit. With the help of lolo Jaime, I finally remembered where the Maragondon that Jollie talked about. It was somewhere else the one I recalled, although near it.

I got the details of the place. Finally, I no longer felt like a lost stranger to Maragondon like it's a place way far away for me to know it. No longer is it that dreams only take me to it if not by accident. I even remember the exact time that we visited Maragondon. That was when I was in between my 6th grade of school and my 1st year in high school. I can say that because I remember the time that we were in the gray L300 van kidding one another with me being the star that time because of my mala-balagtas lingo. I used to do very deep tagalog words that were very matalinhaga than the usual that time. I even think I beat the senior high school students who only discovered and played with the thing a few years later. On our way to Maragondon, we were in the van having fun through my uncanny knowledge and skill in using tagalog in a very humorous way.

I immediately tried to contact Jollie Diquit. At my third (3rd) attempt of calling her, she was finally able to answer my phone call. I asked her first where she was and if I had disturbed her. I later told her how I now remembered where Maragondon exactly was and later asked how she was. Hahaha. What a small world it was. She sounded a little different today but I was glad to hear from her. The call only lasted 1:43 minutes, if I remember that right.

After the call, I checked my balance with Globe's new promo TV advertisement, 0.5 cents/second call, in mind. I was a little bit taken-aback by how it didn't work. I thought that, when I saw my credits left, it might be due to my SULITXT request, only to find out that it didn't really fit the computation and that the request failed to register.

Just a few minutes before midnight or so, I tried to call the Globe Telecom Customer Service to clarify the matter of confusion that I was in. I was then attended by this male agent after the operator. I wasn't able to take note of what his name was because his line was quite choppy. I completely doubt that it was on my side because I had a full signal bar on my mobile phone that time.

One of the things that I've noticed about the Customer Service Representative of Globe Telecoms is that he started to sound gay if not effeminate. I went on saying that I have something to ask about their service. Of course, since the usual SOP is that they first get my name and my mobile number to check my account, I gave out my mobile number and my name, Matthew. To the extent of my knowledge, I suspect that it is their SOP to get a customer's name so that they could properly address the customer while talking to them. That has been told by one of their agents before, and one of my older friends.

My concern about the 0.50 cents/second call has been answered so far. The agent told me that the promo service is only applicable during Sundays and that it has also already ended last August 31. He even told me that they, however, still haven't received any notice of its termination. I might be able to try the service this coming Sunday if I want to check it out.

The thing about the phone call is that the agent seemed to talk more than what I asked for, requiring me to interrupt and stop him from speaking of unneeded information any further. He seemed to "like" to talk more about "their services" while I really had nothing more to ask.

Lastly, the thing that bothered me most is that the agent, when I was about to drop the call, immediately started to unusually ask my full name. I was a bit puzzled at first at where and why they need it for. I believe that customer's personal and private information should be kept private or else breaches can make the service providers accountable. I asked why he or "they" seemed to need it and he answered me that it was "due to future services" or so which is possible but just strange. It felt really weird.

Even from the start of the phone call, he almost forgot asking what my name was. Later, when he remembered to ask those info from me, it sounded a bit more strange by the tone of his voice, showing a stream of ulterior motive, but I didn't mind it that much. That triggered more the following time when he began insisting on the need of getting my name reasoning out more that "it'll be kept confidential" between me and globe. I insisted, on the other hand, that it seems unusual and I told him that I'm not requesting for any other additional service or information and I don't need such so far. He then again reasoned out saying this time that it will only be "between me [the call center agent] and Globe Telecoms". I don't know if he made a mistake on that one or he slipped saying something that tells of a hidden agenda. Lol!

I ended the conversation by saying, "I do not really prefer on giving my full name, if that's okay. I also do not clearly understand what the point is to do that." I just didn't really feel like giving my full name. It's a personal information anyway. I came up with such a decision also due to the fact that I've just finished my ENGLRES (Research in English/English for specific purposes) course with a whopping and surprising 4.0 grade which topic was about The Effects of Information Technology to Society. It explains that one of the effects of IT is the decreasing security and privacy of users. I also have read earlier in an article from the Sophos antivirus website that there is more than 40% of users that practices divulging of personal and private information leading to identity thefts and other malicious abuse and use of other people's personal information.

As far as I'm concerned, I believe that it is illegal to steal or pick up pieces of personal information of customers, especially in the call center scene. I don't know but I think I've heard from others that they kind of prohibit bringing personal paper notes or something to record the personal information of the customers. That is respect to the customer and respect to an individual's right for privacy.

Whew! So far I have a handful to say about my evening. Haha. Good night! :)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Multiply Life, Back to Life

Alas! My multiply life is seeing a bit of progress! Haha! I think by the few replies and guestbook adventures, I'm back on track! I'm not gonna say that this has to stay forever the same, though. Life is so unexpected anyway. :)

Blog, posts, blog, posts, blog, posts, blog, and a bit of guestbook replies = functional and fully operational multiply life of Matthew. Haha.

Hmm. I wonder when Friendster's turn is? I hope they do get a chance. Lol! :))

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

"The Silencing Shall Cease"

Let me share my reply to one of the posts that I received from a Yahoo! Group. Read on below:

"Not everybody knows what's going on. Knowledge is silenced and kept secret from the mass who has the real power so that they won't be able to act for or against a particular popular scheme. I'm quite alarmed at how Journalists are being murdered, abducted, and done gruesome things at so that the real news doesn't even reach the needy ears of everyone around.

Truth is like water. We can try holding it in our hands but it will soon spill and our hands will tire of keeping it from falling. Soon, silencing the truth will be like stopping a raging river with only our hands to do it. These wiles that keep us from knowing will cease and they will be overcome by knowledge itself. Nobody can ever contain the truth for truth is like light. The purpose of light is to shed its beams for people. It is not meant to be hidden or kept under a table. In all the efforts to prevent the spread of knowledge that is originally entitled to everyone, there is an end. The silencing shall cease.

Luke 8:16-17
A Lamp on a Stand

16"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. 17For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

Education and advocacy leads to knowledge." Knowledge used with wisdom leads to solutions to a vast array of needs.

Matthew Sendon

The Day Writer:
Dream Notebook:
The Bigger Bridge:

A Healthy Routine

Need to establish this newly-discovered healthy routine. It's not just the "eat-right", "exercise-daily" routine that I'm talking about. It's about reading newspapers. I'm gonna start doing that now.

I'm not used to reading newspapers because nobody buys them here. However, it joyed me most to think that there are lots of 'em in the library. Haha. :)

I encourage everyone of you, through this simple blog, to start reading newspapers too if you haven't yet. Let's all start being aware of the things around us.

Ciao! :p


I'm supposed to write a longer blog but the thoughts slipped when I did something else. Haha. Anyway, whichever way I send out my message, I still believe that nothing is in vain. ;)

Friday, August 8, 2008

A Little Something in Return

People often ignore the tiny but sincere efforts of people around them. They are taken for granted. What if the time comes that these hearty deeds become rare to find? What are you going to do?

Anyway, it's not good to think of it that way. I believe that we should start apreciating the things that others do, be it little or big. That way, we encourage them to go on doing what they do. It's a good thing to make people want to do more good for others than want to do harm because they feel they're not appreciated in the good that they do.

Here are several passages that I've made about appreciating the things that people around us do. They might be rich or poor, strangers or friends, or anybody. The thing is, they helped from their hearts.

In the very little things
To the greatest of deeds
Do I ever gain anything?
Or at least sow seeds?

In my deep concern
And my sincere efforts
Have I obtained nothing?
Are my works of worth?

A man helps a stranger
Not expecting any gain
Even with nothing he tries
Whether there be pain

The suffering move
Their strength they use
Yet we fail to appreciate
Their efforts we abuse

People do good
Yet they are unsure
Shall they be left clueless?
Is there something in store?

A little credit is what it's worth
A little praise and bare concern
A little thank you, do not forget
A little something in return

In Want

In times of longing and deep want, what do you do? You search for answers.

In this short entry, I am going to talk about the answer that I've found. Let me share what it feels like to long and find the One you're looking for.

You are my Keeper
And I shall not experience drought
I believe in You and all You are
Your promises are true

You are my Good Shepherd
I shall not ever be in want
Even at times that I see otherwise
I'll still hold strong onto You

My soul longs, it feels hunger
The only answer is You
Even when it treads the darkness
My desire is to only be with You

These pain and tears are no more
Makes me desire more of You
This life that I have I know you'll secure
I'm glad that I'm found by You

WANTED: Righteous Leaders

WANTED: Righteous Leaders.

REWARD: The beginning of a lifetime of relief and more underlying treasures.

WARNING: If found, report immediately!

Don't think twice in reporting now!

We need these kind of leaders. From the micro-level of daily living to the bigger picture of public governance, we are in great need. However, I don't think that they're merely 'born' as one. I believe that these people are formed. That is where I want to focus on.

Yes, we are in dire need of righteous leaders. We don't really need blameless leaders. Not now. We just need leaders who, in their lifetime of mistakes, have learned from them. We need leaders who are willing to go through the right amount of training. Those who are strong enough to pass from the offer of an immediate chance of success in exchange of integrity.

They're here and I believe it. I just hope that one day, they'll come together and start a foundation strong enough to hold off the present evil wiles, and draw the nation upwards at the same time.

I am a concerned citizen. I don't want to hate living here in the Philippines while I'm growing up. I don't want to change my way of thinking on how much I respect the beauty of my nation. However, if the answer is leaving the pasture that I am in right now to learn more from beyond the horizons, I would be willing to take that kind of path.

I wanna be on a side where I'm not inside and trapped, waiting for somebody to come. Also, not on the outside and not caring at all at what happens, seeing what's happening to my motherland to only look in disgrace and relief for I am out of it. I want to be both inside and out to learn everything I need to and see everything that needs to be seen.

If we see it, the ones who have the most potential to lead are the ones privileged enough to receive handy training from the inside and out [our land], except for an exceptional few. If there are opportunities outside waiting for us to hand-pick them like ripened fruits, why not take them? This is a state of no longer being bound by traditional thinking.

Again, I am opening an invitation to all those who believe that they have leaders inside who are willing enough to be formed as righteous ones. I am waiting for people who are willing to give a part of their life for the good of others. I wish to soon find individuals who are willing to give up their individuality to unite for a common goal. A goal that entails laying down selfish pride and gain to lift the pain of others around them.

The time is at hand that people no longer rely on immediate solutions. The time of bloom is near where the real answers to our crying bellies are no longer hidden from the public eye. This is fruitful leadership. This is service.