When I Become A Singer

If I become a singer, I'll really be happy. It is really fulfilling to see myself express in front of others and perform, imparting the different colours of emotions to listeners.

Haha. I definitely love to be one someday. ;)

Alas! With God, nothing is impossible! Baka, or lets remove the "baka", someday, ma-discover ang talents ko at iba pang skills ay magamit at mahasa ko. Waw. Drim camtru! Finally! Haha. ;)

I Was Tagged! :O

TAGGED BY April Airoso. :)

Rule #1: There are no rules when it comes to freedom of speech. The frankierr, the better.

Rule #2: Each blogger must repost this entire entry with the names of the people he/she is tagging, attached at the end of this pop quiz.

Rule #3: The blogger must visit the page of each person who he/she has tagged and must give a link directing the person to his/her pop quiz.

Part 1: Complete the sentence

1. My favorite subjects are environmental biology/chemistry, english research, REED. Haha. :p kung pwede lang isama LOGIC.

2. If I were a teacher, I'd teach anything, I guess. Haha. Nah. Maybe I'd teach a lot of subjects, but the major ones are the ff: mathematics, computer subjects, etc. The reason is whenever I believe that I have a good ground of understanding with a particular subject, I can teach it pretty well no matter what it may be. The only thing that would hinder me from teaching a particular subject is if I am not proficient with it or do not know anything about it. That goes with T.H.E. subjects, drafting, etc. Hahaha. :))

3. The subject that I don't get is chemistry. Actually, don't get YET. I barely learned anything when I was still in high school. Good thing, I'm catching up pretty good this term. ;)

4. Of all my accomplishments, I am proudest of nothing. I deserve no credit from all accomplishment that may involve me. I just thank God for them all.

5. 5 years from now, I would like to receive I hope that I'll have been thinking soundly and have learned by then. I also hope that I regain the things in me that I have lost by that. Nothing is impossible with God. ;)

6. If I could live another life, I want to be I'd spend the whole of it in God's courts. Nyaha. Actually, I could live it all over again with "you". Haha. Cheesy weirdness. Imagination. Haha. :p

7. I was once mistaken for somebody else. Nakatalikud kasi ako nun. Haha. Walang kwenta. Pero, I once was mistaken for I don't know. I think there came a time that I got accused of something that I didn't do. Di na lang ako react that much cos, why should I even? :)

8. The best thing(s) I ever got for free were my family, everything I own, yeah, and His grace. :p

9. My favorite shows are mostly Pinoy shows kasi si Manang ay laging naka-antabay at sumusubaybay. Other shows like Lost, Heroes, Prison Break are my likes. I do like animes too, cool ones, but rarely do I ever lay my eyes on them. I think they're not that much of a priority when it comes to my TV diet. :)

10. One night I want to last forever is when I feel all overwhelmed by all God's goodness. Haha. But, alas, that won't happen. I should learn how to make it happen not just by staying there. Unlock the mystery. Decipher the secrets. Bring down and pour heaven on earth. We shouldn't stop until we reach that state. We simply cannot just wish for it to happen and we do not move or progress. We are in a journey and we have the grace and ability to finish it. ;)

Part 2: Complete the equation

Matthew + 'future wife' = happiness. :)

Matthew + carba = carbo? mas happy. yehey. haha. :p

Matthew + sweets = rather give it to somebody else. haha. :)

Matthew + WONDERFUL = superhero? haha. :p

Matthew + high school friends = uhh, a hi and hello and then silence. haha. iba na world ngayon. we are growing older. if we all do, maybe we'd strike up a good conversation and enjoy it both. ;)

Part 3: Enumeration

Places you'd like to go on for vacation:

1. Cebu

2. Vegas

3. Paris, France

4. Washington, DC

5. Australia para may Hillsong concert at Planetshakers, haha. :p

6. Japan, Korea, other asian countries. (dinagdag ko, haha.)

Gifts you'd like to receive:

1. M2 card for my phone. Haha.

2. Sax + Clarinet + Flute

3. Lots of new clothes

4. Budget for braces (finally!)

5. Car. Haha. :p

Food you would wanna eat forever:

1. Veggies! Yeah!

2. Pizza! Any flavour! I eat anything! Haha! Food dapat at edible! Pero wag exotic! :p

3. Tuna sandwhich or anything with wonderful Mayo! Haha!

4. Honey! :D

5. Manna! Haha! :p

6. Prunes and fruits!

7. Fish (any variant, preferrably fried). :D

8. Rice!

9. Ice cream! :D

10. Gravey! Haha!

Things you'll do when you aced all your grades:

Thank God and cry! Haha! So my dream! Grace! I'll celebrate! I'd be overjoyed by then. ;)

The people who you are tagging:

1. Awil

2. Jamie

3. Jolly

4. Johan

5. Joseph

6. Michael

7. Angie

8. Justin

9. Diane

10. Andrei

Lil' Ol' IBM

Well, well, well. I certainly missed you, oh my lil' ol' IBM. Yes, I do. Yes, you are. :)

You little one. You light-weight, all-around, lovable thing. :)

You old one. You've been with me for years and you still stand strong. You have lasted longer than those who have just come. I so love you. Haha. :)

Your sound is better than those of the new ones. It's power can be heard from between rooms in the house. :)

Your sturdiness is unmatchable. You are still here all these years. You have been the first, and it seems that you will make it to the last. :)

Soon, even now, you'll be a legend for the rest and me. You have shown a great legacy, and I'll be keeping you near me. :)

I'm glad that you're okay and that you only needed a little rest to get back to full functionality. I definitely missed you! :D

Four-seasons of the Cleaning Season

Be it the famous season of winter
May we never ever fail to remember
All the good times, all the goals
It's the time to stand up and fulfill our roles

Be it the famous season of spring
We will, with joy, heartily sing
When we survived the blade of the knife
It's time that we cherish our life

Be it the famous season of summer
Let us always sprint like a good runner
Until we reach our precious prize
It's time that we do the things that are wise

Be it the famous season of fall
There are no reasons, excuses at all
Look inside our hearts and all the space
It's time that we now throw our waste

Enough with the Foolish Dreams: Awake

Wake up! You've been dreaming way farther than the reach of the cliffs. Who fooled you to believe in what you make yourself today? And who charmed you to desert who you really are?

The mission remains. The prize awaits.

Thanks for the call. It is ever good to stay and stand awake.

The Sportsman

I had been thinking of the french open and the results recently. How are they anyway? How are my favourites? Fernando Gonzales from the Men's Division and Kim Clijsters from the Women's?

With this, I was thinking of the situation of players not making it to the top 1. There's only one space available for the seeds anyway. What happens, then, to the other players? Do they fail? Do they really lose?

Seeds might think that the whole world is crashing down if we put it in an extreme situation. This is what happens to regular victors who only see luxury. Again, what happens if they don't make the 1st? Do they really crash down? The answer is simple -- it's a NO.

It's just a simple thinking away of how far they've gone. We should always see how much we've achieved so far. There is always progress in the things we do, of course, if we learn and do it the right way. The regular pessimism and the "I didn't make the spot that I desperately shot for" is what tears us apart -- not the spin of the wheel for our co-conquestors. We win with a purpose. We should play with a purpose.

There is only one trophy and we all have eyes for it. When a friend sharing the same dream gets his turn to partake of the victory, we musn't treat it against us. Personally winning is one thing. Somebody who's worthy to win is another.

There's no loss and there are lots of gains. There's always sweat, but there also is an upgrade. We play and aim for victory. But, play more to enjoy. ;)

So, here's a thought that came out of my mind while thinking of such a situation:

"Whenever I play and compete, I just see to it that I enjoy. Whether I win or lose, claim victory or eat dust this is what I aim for..."

The Dancer

Ahh, dancing. It's an artistic ability that I don't seem to have yet dancers say that it's something that we can learn. Whenever I see dancers do it on the dancefloor, I see a flame in their eyes and their movements. It's a very passionate art. If passion is absent, the dance appears to be very dull and lifeless. Overall, I see dancing as a very nice and enjoyable art. :)

Here's a simple poem about dancing and a simple life of a dancer.

He shines, he grooves, the dancer
He doesn't need a partner
Admit or not they falter
But he commits them never

The girls always run after
The flashy, mighty dancer
Temptation will bewilder
But he tries to resist her

A simple life, a dancer
It's just the art he's after
His talents he will master
To give hearts joy and laughter

Every Single Day

Yan ang sikat na linyang maaaring gamitin upang tukuyin ang araw ng mga taong tinatawag nating "single". Hahaha.

Halimbawa (isang linya ng isang taong singgel, kunwari): "I'm loving every single day of my independent life". Yehey!

Hehehehe. Na-fancy-an ko lang 'tong phrase na 'to. Hehehe. :))

I'm not crazy! (I'm just a little unwell, hahaha, I still feel a little bit ill, literally) 8-}

Infinity ∞

Nothing can ever complete the life of man the way God does. His infinity solves our insatiable need to grasp our vast and undending needs.

It's Boring Lately

Lately, interesting things seem scarce. I rarely find something good over the internet -- news and the likes. Hay.

I hope, anyway, that something interesting might come soon. I'm hoping for the best. |:>

Food for the Day that Passed By

Di ako kumain the whole day ng maayos/matino pero, surprisingly, di ako gutom right now (11:22 PM on the PC clock). Haha. Maybe my body is used to it na. Hay. Pano na ang pangarap kong tumaba at lumaki?

Haha. Ayun. Pero, I think naman that the first step unto reaching your goal is to identify the situation you are in right now and relate it to the aimed situation. Ayun. Maybe after that, take corrective measures na. :)

1 slc. Pizza (morning before I got outta the house) + 2 Donuts (around 2:45-3 PM) + Chicken Wing (7:45 PM, partial) + onting Rice (7:45 PM, literal) + 1 slc. Pizza again (7:50 PM) = the meals for the day.

What a fine diet. :p

On-Mode

I'd be doing the things I'm supposed to do. Hah. :p

My only fuel is God's amazing power and promise from even before. Up to now, it's still living. He doesn't fail nor fade. He's even added more to the dreams He's revived and given me.

Aja, aja! I'd be doing this and be making it through not cos I'm extremely awesome or something but because I'm just under the reign and overflowing rule of grace. :p

Bow... ;)

A Bad-Day Turned to A Good One: Tennis Frigidity

I played Tennis today. I went to the Tennis court of our subdivision. While I was still outside, I noticed that there's nobody there. Usually, there's somebody staying there like they're keepers of the court. I still went inside. I inspected the quarters to verify if there's really nobody there. I was right.

I inspected the rest of the court until I decided to start practicing my serves. The last and first time I was there was when a generous old man (I forgot the name kasi, hehehehe) helped me with Tennis training. He was also the one who taught me the overhead serve, etc.

After a little while into the practice, some old man enterred the court. He asked me if there was nobody there and if I had somebody to play with. He offered to hit a number of balls, so I accepted. At start, I thought it would be an easy and quiet game until he began coaching me with what I should do. He started by correcting me and telling me that I should not do the overhead serve (which I was already getting a hang of), instead, I should try the bouncing serve. My first serve was okay, but then he coached me again that I should let the ball bounce first before I hit it. There he started COACHING me over and over again. I felt like I knew nothing, but I didn't realize what I was feeling. He began telling me all the things that he expects me to be should be doing, explaining the wrong things I do. I, on the other hand, was that silly little boy desiring to be teached to learn more. I listened very carefully to everything he was saying, as a respect too. It seemed that I owed the old man something since he was teaching me something for free.

The game went on and I was having difficulty catching up to his expectations, trying to do 'what he was telling me that I should be doing'. To cut things short, I missed a lot, sucked a lot, frustrated the 'new-found coach' a lot (although he seemed to try being patient). Although he tried to be easy on me and he tried bearing with me throughout the game, I felt that the game we had that started out as a simple (supposed to be) get-to-know-you-through-the-ball-game turned out to be a very awkward coaching session of failures. It fuelled more when two other older men who, I think, are regulars enterred the court and started playing a game of their own. When I say game here, I meant to say an enjoyable and sweat-breaking one. I, although I was ignoring it, see his jealous and frustrated glances to the active court beside us. It just tells me how much he craves to play there instead of the one we were in. He probably was imagining himself hitting nice spins already but still interrupted by the reality of me -- an amateur, a hard-learner.

I wanted him to stop anyway because I was feeling that I wasn't learning anymore. I was catching up with my own pace and what he was telling me wasn't really working out. I was trying to figure things out by myself already but didn't realize it. What's quite ironic about it too is that the first and last time before today that I played (actually, practiced) is that I hit nice shots and was getting the hang of it. My initial plan is that I'd be there and apply the things I've learned the last time I was there. If ever that old man invited me for a simple game, I'd probably enjoy one doing silly and simple (and laughable) mistakes, playing good amateur strokes that show potential instead of him babbling like a coach (no offense meant). I admit that I'm just a beginner (I don't wanna say that I'm not good) so let it be. I think he expected too much. I, on the other hand, expected to play the way I can.

The way I see it, he was limiting what I could do by 'telling me' what I should be doing already. I literally foiled, crashed, destroy my time out there. After our game, when another gentleman enterred the court (who I think is also a familiar one), he then with cheer and courage told me to try practicing in the other court alone so that they could play doubles. The happiness in his eyes were noticed together with the sheer excitement in his relieved tone of voice. I felt relieved too. At last, freed from torture and utter dictation. I can be myself, learn, be loosened up. But, there was a problem. After our, I don't know if I could call it, game, I seemed to have an aftershock. My emotions all-throughout the hits with the old man were quite surpressed in me. I was trying to please the old man, trying to imply that I was very much giving him my full attention, my two ears on that. I was trying to be a learner, but it seemed that it wasn't what I should be doing. I think he miscommunicated himself too. He got into something that he wasn't planning to do the same. He grabbed the badge of a coach while it wasn't his real intention. He might just be trying to give me some tips only that it became too much, it was coaching.

Whew.

He might have the attitude of a perfectionist. People like that try to input about everything that they can although it might not be that necessary. I can't blame him then, I guess. I'm like that too (but most people appreciate what I do and they learn; I admit, though, that there are also times that I try to push too much to somebody that I get mad at them *I remember Aya, wahh, hehe*). So, that's it. Maybe we just didn't understand ourselves. We were both man-pleasers that we came to a point that we were doing something that we didn't really want to do but couldn't end because we were trying to either not hurt the person in front of us, or we were just BOUND by our attitude of not speaking what should be spoken (this is related to one of my previous blogs today). Basically, this is not about the old man. It was about US. We were in the same situation and I think we had the same attitude. It's even funny cos I was putting all the blame to the old man when in fact I participated with both our frustration. Good thing is that right now, I've resolved my part through this entry. I just don't know for the old man. He's an old man anyway; mature enough, I guess, to get over it despite that it's an attitude matter.

After that, I tried to get back with the serves again. I was regaining my pace. After a few tries, the old man whom I played with earlier told me (okay, tipped) that I should try walling. I gained some moves through the help of the old man, but lost my previous swings. I was doing good back then but now, I've lost them all. Argh! What's worse is during one of my backhand swings, I hit the ball too high and it went to the roof of one of the houses there. Argh! That one cost a lot. A pack of 3 balls costs Php 277, I think, that last time I checked. That was a new one, not to mention. I have barely used it. Now, it's gone. I also tried to ask the house-owner if there was a possibility that it slid to the ground or something like that. The house owner was nice and tried to search for balls. To her kind tries, she retrieved 3 balls (old and dirty ones) and gave it to me. I had no choice but to take it instead, maybe as a replacement for my one beautiful ball stuck on that roof forever, probably. I went home not knowing whether or not I'd be frustrated, mad, or be cool with it and look on the brighter side of things like I usually do, only that things don't get better that much when I do it.

I got home, relaxed a bit and started doing my first blog about relief and change of attitude. Whew. What I've learned is that, mistakes are innevitable -- only that you need to learn from them. I also need to be strong. I have also realized that I need God, His word, and His every-clinging strength waiting for me. Oh, He's so good. That is the only life that revived me when I got home and nothing else.

This is a case foiled, spoiled, but resolved. ;)

Zero Gravity

Thinking about the idea of gravity just makes me come up with something like the one below:

There's zero gravity
I float in air
No longer need to walk
My feet from earth

I'll stay this way forever
I just wanna fly
This life is a heaven
There's no need to cry

Yeah. Something just like this one. ;)

No More

No more ill, vain, fillery thoughts.

I've been visiting my (this) site dozens of times already only to see if there's something interesting that involves me in it. How egocentric. How self-centered! I get excited and happy whenever there's a personal message, only to find out it's a group message about something. I rejoice extremely when somebody replies to my post only to see a short appreciation (expecting it to be something as long as my replies).

I've been dull, lifeless, expecting fruits of energy and vigor. How can that be?

Now I've realized that I need to move and breath. I have the power for He has given me. Yep. This life I live is not just for my enjoyment like that of the scene of a movie theater -- you sit and enjoy the movie and wish you were in it. We have to live it and enjoy it cos we experience every touch, every breath, every glory and victory in it. We should be part of the real joy of life. We should enjoy it together with knowing that we are not our own god. We enjoy it because He has empowered us endlessly.

That's what I wanna say right now.

How emo of me. Haha. *listening to blues and love songs that are part of the inspiration of these things I write* :))

I Need to Stand Up

...for myself this time. It's been a pretty low, humbly, simple life that I fail to stand up when the need arise. I always supress my feelings and it makes me irritable and confused most times. I wanna be myself, wanna have more friends. I wanna be an open door and have lesser mistakes because my mind would be working in a much normal state than it is today. I want to be OPENED UP, unleash every potential, and every good thing in me.

Of course, I wanna understand myself more. That includes embracing and accepting the joys the same with the mistakes therein.

Along with this, I just want to feed and satiate my hunger for fullness. Do not forget the prayers and the word.

Disclaimer: whenever you see me acting too harsh as compared to who I am as you know me, do not be in the state of shock. Simply said, expect it as early as now. It's not that I'll be harsh and difficult. I'll just be who I'm supposed to be. There are no assurances of these things happening, though, under my power. It's up to Him that I be formed into somebody that I wanna be ultimately. ;)

Leave Me Alone

I need time alone
I need to write
I need to think things right

Leave me alone
Let me be
I want to take this 'time' I own...

Told You We'd Be Back Together

Hurray, may smartbro na kami! Ay, DSL pala! Hahaha. :p

I think it's a PLDT DSL connection. Wahaha. :)

See? Told you we'd be back together. Kaya lang, nagbago ka na pala... Wahaha! >:)