Sunday, March 18, 2007
I can only do the things that made you fall for me too
And give yourself a reason to love me the same way that I do
I can only do the things that could possibly make you love me
After that, hand-in-hand we'll make history...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
It is time for you to write on it, to create my story
But would you leave me blank, would I be invisible?
Would you just pass me by and leave me, instead, unopened?
One thing's on my mind
I'm a different page
'cause I have hands of my own and I create my own story
Let me create the best of it in your life
If you would try to ignore me, I'm gonna do it
I'm gonna get your attention
And am I gonna do everything to make the best out of it
And I have learned from the experience
I knew then that I am the one who should stand tall
Until you're strong enough
Until you're not hurt anymore
Until you're convinced and surrendered
Well I am gonna wait, but I won't wait idly
I am gonna catch your heart in every glimpse
I am gonna radiate among the crowd and make my own ink
So that as a page, I am complete, ready for you to read
You're gonna figure out in the end
That even though I am an unopened page
Even though I am not yet said
I am the only page that makes your book...
A couple sleep together to screw one another in the dark of the night. After their shakes and sounds, they ask each other, "who are you, what's your name anyway"? Their faces freeze like they've seen a ghost after the passion, and they begin to catch an idea of what they have just done.
Is that love? Of course, they both introduced themselves and told things about their life, but is it enough? They hardly know each other and make an excuse. They say, "we'll get to know each other anyway". What's the sense of doing it? It's like they're trying to say that they should know one another because they love each other. Not like the way that people know that they love the other and they know one another. What an excuse. They're building the non-existent, a nothing.
But, what is love anyway? All I know and all I can say is, it was there even I was born. It definitely cannot be found in the sensations of the habits that people has built up at night with another person that they hardly know or something else. It is clear that what they are looking for are toys, not love and joy. It's hard to put it in their hearts if you're not with them, if you're not involved. Unless you get involved, unless you teach the person firsthand what love is, they would be clueless [if not for a miracle].
I do believe that love also comes as a package with forgiveness at instances, right? Let us all learn and try to seek out what love really is...
Monday, March 12, 2007
Since the day I met you
A lot of things have changed
Including the things that we do
It seems like things
Aren't the way they were before
Situations get more complicated
Each moment that we breathe
I ask myself whose fault is this
Have I really hurt you?
Or something unexplainable
Just happen when they do?
Things are full of uncertainty
They seem too far from reality
I see today that things around us
Just aren't what they used to be
I thought we should be happy
But look at who we are now and try to see
Look in the mirror, not just at me
Some chains were definitely set free
Why is it like that
When we get nearer each other
Odd things happen
When we get closer and closer
Chance wants me to suffer
With such great loss
To either lose you or myself
It's difficult to decide
I don't know the reason
Why do I have to choose?
Is there a better option
Where nobody needs to lose?
I'm strong enough and I
Dictate the threshold of my strength
I know after this we'll see
That we've been through far beyond the sea...
Sunday, March 11, 2007
To make you remember of the forgotten love that we shared together
I would turn you back to who you were before
Before you turned into someone I don't even know
Nothing can take you away from me
Nothing can change the way you are to me...
A child who ran away
A child with no place to stay
A child who forgot what home feels like
A child who's scared, afraid to go back
But I came to find you so that you're not lost anymore
I came to find you, leaving what I have home
I came to find you, knowing your life is precious and fragile
I came to find you so you'll find your way back
I'll take the bruises, and the blame just to ease up your pain
I'll share the load so that you would stop thinking that nobody cares
I'll be your ransom even if it means death
I'll be your sub when they beat you for your mistake
I'll sell myself to pay your debt and your bail
I'll do whatever it takes to free you from your hell
I'll cry tears of blood praying for you
I won't sleep at night thinking of you
I'll sweep every street corner searching for you
I will restore all the lost feelings just to bring you
Back to a place that you can call home
Thursday, March 8, 2007
And you were the perfect person
That everybody wanted as their possession
I, on the other hand, was nothing special
But you saw something in me that no-one else saw
You loved me and taught me how to love you the same
I thought that I would never love anyone
Until you came and taught me how
You stole my heart, I couldn't take it back
No matter how I try, I just couldn't keep up
And there I knew, my heart is now your possession...
Sunday, March 4, 2007
This is just drama that I want to share, this isn't wholly true (as I have said, it's drama). Maybe it would be true if I were in the mood for drama again, hahaha :) I wrote this for my friendster account, but decided to remove it 'cause it was way too dramatic... Hahaha :)
I'm full of fear, fear of losing a person, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of not being loved, fear of someone to go [astray] the wrong way, fear of nothingness, fear of having no dream, fear of the reality of my hopes, fear of misbelief in my visions, fear of being not enough, fear of being unfortunate, fear of fear overcoming me, fear of everything not physical but that which determines the destiny of a person, fear of love [hurt] at the same to time to lose...
Just look at who we are today
How unlikely contrasting to who we were yesterday
I wonder what time has done to change us
I know my eyes are fooling me, I won't believe
I'll stop listening to the fool inside telling me all the lies
It only started when I began to get scared
Then, I'll stop, I'll become fearless
I'm fearless, isn't it weird?
After every word that I've whispered
All the fears that I've uttered?
Yes I am guilty, but I will prove it
You won't see me anymore the way I was
It wasn't me in the first place
It's time to return to who I was before
Before fear began haunting me
Oh fear, what has gotten into you?
Where did you even come from?
Before I didn't have you, now you say that I love you?
Now I am troubled, all 'cos of what you've done
I'll finish it now, wipe your tears away
Stand up and begin to pray
Say sorry for being weak, and loving fear's stare
The things that have scattered on the ground I pick-up again
What you did hovered me, surrounded me over and over
Made me feel dizzy and useless inside
I've got no hope left, no reason to live either
Why's this happening? I ask my self every moment I breathe in air
I'm waiting for an answer to my hopes, that this is just a test
A dream maybe, waiting for me to wake up
Or maybe just a joke, that you wanted me to laugh on
But it seems so real, I feel it inside my skin
It hurts like nothing I've ever felt, an incomparable feeling
I still wait, inside me there's someone talking
Telling me the reasons why you went away
Tells me it's my fault that I wasn't strong enough
I enjoyed too much, when it was you I should've given joy
It feels so unreasonable, yet foolish. I am a fool
I pray at night, at the dark
Hoping for a miracle to bring you back
Or maybe I didn't pray well enough
Tells a lot why you're still not here with me
Maybe I should keep silent, think things over
You were right, there was something wrong
You've got all the reasons not to be strong
I deserve what you did, you've done what was right
I want to learn, stop being a fool
To think I was the one who tell you not to be
I should've looked in the mirror to see clearly
And so to understand more deeply
If it is also possible to roll back the words I've let in the air
Act like you didn't hear a thing, so much like an err
But you reply, you said it scarred, you said it's no lie
I am scared yet I shouldn't be
This is not how I'm supposed to be
I'll just pretend again, or I'll just forget
Maybe then, you'll do too
And things will be the way they were...
Friday, March 2, 2007
I'll just act like nothing happened. I usually don't just let it pass and think of it over and over again and begin to hate myself. I don't know, this time's different. I forgot them already, those things that you've told me. I'm not fuzzing too much about it anymore compared to old times that I panic and cry. What I've told you might be enough, so it's okay now...
Yeah, you heard right. Come do yourself a favor. Learn also to forgive yourself. It's not who you are, it's just what you've done. Do it 'cause I already have. We can play again, we can enjoy again this time. You don't need to be afraid anymore. I've told you a thousand times a thousand. Your ear still doesn't itch, it's still hiding inside. I know you can hear me. It's finished if you ask me. It's done already. You can act like a new man, forget everyone. Today's a new day, wake up and come on play...
Thursday, March 1, 2007
From the tears, they speak for me
The meanings come from the blood
That I shed in my heart, inside me
I see only black and white
I am living inside history
This is just a dream
But this is reality to me
You haven't seen because
You didn't open them eyes yet
You didn't want to see either
Cause you already knew the truth
You were the one who did this
How could you not know?
But I ask this question more
How could you endure?
I have the answers in my pocket
I know that you're afraid
I've told you a thousand times
The same thing over and over again
It hasn't remedied anything yet
Nothing, not a gain
You're still searching for solutions
To the questions that you've scribbled
I know what to do now
I'll go there where you are
To the place that you avoid
Where you fear to tread upon
Not alone but with you I will
I will go before you, You will see me
I will take all the harm in the way
Just to make your fears go away...
I cannot change this way I'm in
It's the same thing everyday
Your name is what it says I hear
The things that I feel inside
I know that I can never hide
No matter how I hard I dare ever try
It's just there, it wouldn't lie
I cannot conceal
These wounds, they just won't heal
Until you're here for real
And you from time I steal
It won't heal til you're there
It won't do til I've shooed away the scare
Til your last drop of tears I've spared
And I've replaced it with a smile
This is one thought, this will never change
I have one mission, never let your life exchange
A mistake is enough, I can forgive you now
You won't need to ask, It's all done
I'll never change what I say
I'll tell you everyday
I'll come there even if you're far away
I'll cross the shore with my feet bare
I won't swim, I will walk on water
No matter how you hide, I see through
The darkest cave I'll go into
Only just to find you
Come back here in my arms
A hug that you long you'll find
A warmth you've missed your whole life
It missed you too all the time
Let's walk together, do not be afraid
My mood's changing 'cause I know now you're here
I hope everyday, and I know it's true
I don't just believe, I know and I see you
I see visions, and I know again
I am informed though it is not yet
I know that you're there safe
I am secured that you now can sleep
Just know that I won't change
I won't hold back the words I've let
I'll wait, I'll know the thought you'll get
Til you remember your fears not ever...
Peacefully I look at it, lulling me to sleep
A light in a dark night, how wonderful's that light
I wanna be, I long to be, a light that lights your life
I was hypnotized, I am relaxed by the light that you have fed me
Oh yes, you lamp-light, oh how you have allured me
What mystery is it in you has ever dared encaptured me
To see deep inside you, to see something unseen
When I look at you, you disappear, but when I don't you come back
When I touch you, you hide, but at night you fall back
It pleases me, it touches me, I don't know the reason why
It amazes me, how you have brought me to a secluded place on high
You're magical and enchanted, nothing but you're all
I breathe deeply, I exhale effortfully, you have taken my breathe away
No one's done this to me, this weird magical feeling, as if I'm in such a high-tree
I'm up in the sky, on the top of a hill, on a tower I see everything
Everything down there's clear though it's night, cause you are my light
Thanks to my lamp-light, I can see clear even when I'm blind...
I'm an idiot, I don't think. Instead, I forgive.
I'm a fool, I am wise. I just try to give in to the lies.
Well, it's not the point anyway.
I love for who you are, not what you've done.
That's the way I've been loved anyway, that's all the reason
Reason that I do this crazy madness you may call it.
Every night I weep inside, 'cause in the day I get hurt.
Every night I heal, 'cause tomorrow I forgive again.
Every night I think to dream, to give me a dream to hope on.
Every night I pray to God, to build up what I've prayed for.
Do not be a fool, be wise. Do not be likewise.
Follow not my example, mine's enough.
Live a life, live life now.
Yet tomorrow, I'll still wait for you to do.
If you won't do it, I'm gonna be there for you.
I'm feeling lonely, I feel I need you
I'm feeling crazy, I badly want you
What can I do, do about you?
I am empty, and I long for you
I am confused, and I think of you
I am weak, and I hope for you
I am angry, and I forgive you
This feeling inside me confuses me
This feeling inside me fools me
This feeling inside me challenges me
This feeling inside me set me free
Everyday I forgive you
Everyday I show you grace
Everyday I give love
As it has been given me freely