When Things Change

I need to write this one. Period. For so long a time of silence, I need to say something. It's been quite long since I've last squeezed out some juice of words to colour the pages of my blog. I believe, however, that now is the time to do such a thing again.

Change is indeed inevitable. However, when we change, I believe that we must be aware of it. If things go out of hand and control, it is the time when it is the most difficult to handle change. When the things we become and have changed into are images that we aren't familiar of nor comfortable to look at, that is when we'll have a hard time coping with change.

I myself have experienced quite a bountiful number of changes in me too. As I reminisce and try to remember who I was before, I think of trying to "get back" the things that I know I was... but with that thought, a conflicting idea enters in -- since change is inevitable, is it necessarily good, and should we just be caught up in its raging currents? Or should we fight its course?

Today, I'm not about to answer that question that I have in mind. I think that answers aren't what I need right now. I can say that because even now, my mind's caught up with lots of cares to even add another heavy one. What I need today is a simple release. A breather. An exhale. A cool down. Comfort. Relief. I think that babbles are enough. I don't need another ounce of intelligent foolishness. I don't need another ton of worldly wisdom that won't even move me anywhere were I should be, only blinding me of my original course and direction in life. If I'll draw the road that I'm in, I'll draw myself in the middle of a corn-field of tall plants that blind me of where I am.

Right now, what I need is enlightenment, enough for me to understand who I am (again -- if that word applies). I just want to be versed again of the meaning of my life. I want to go the path that I once knew.

Did I have amnesia? Or is it just because I got too much carried away of my cares in this world? Those ones, especially, that I even hate doing? What have I turned into? Yes, this is change and it is constant, but is it supposed to run out of control? Is it supposed to ruin me? Am I supposed to reach the lowest, darkest depths of the earth just for me to see light again? Is that the routine that we all should take before we learn or even see the light?

Now that these words has been said, I guess that this is where my journey begins.