You know what, I've had quite a long break from writing personal blogs. I'm trying to find out the reason why, but tonight, I can only go down on pointing one reason. Just to clarify, though, I'm not saying that it's the only reason. I believe that there are a lot more reasons behind me not writing, and losing the "feel" or the "urge" to write any more passionate than I do before.
The first reason I tried blogging out was when it was still probably the year 2007, February, when I was really wondering what blogs are. Sure, I have an idea of what it is, but being a skeptical person, I puke out what I know, do not believe them, and only really grasp what they mean when I get a first-hand relevant experience of them.
I was also starting to collect and compose short text-message verses, and quotes. Some of those, I've turned into nice short poems. That's when I officially started writing poems, and really delved into poetry. It was a nice start.
February 2007 also marked the start of us having our first-ever decent DSL connection. That was a time when Broadband internet connection started making its way into Philippine mainstream, beginning to eradicate dial-up connections. It was really timely as I've just created my first-ever blog while in school, a few days ago before the official internet connection is set-up.
At my first shot at writing the blogs, my main activity revolved around transferring compositions (poetry, quotes, sayings, thoughts) that I've saved in my mobile phone. Back then, it was my handy and ever-present "diary", whenever the computer and the keyboards to write with were not available.
Things got better and my writing "skills", if there is such a thing, improved. I moved forward to writing directly to the blogs. I composed poems right on the spot, mainly focusing on the idea of love for the initial blog posts. Some, about fear, about principles, about youth, life, and other relevant things to me back then (very teenage-like).
Today, I'm suffering from "loss-of-fresh-content" syndrome. Hahaha. I can't even write anything new to my blogs. I feel like it's a commitment that I do not know of anymore. It's like a lost love, or a too familiar part of you that it doesn't matter anymore whether it's there or not, in a good or bad situation.
Two years after creating a blog, I've created this particular online fancy journal account called "plurk". It's some sort of short-journal writing site that allows your friends to view your "status" or read the thoughts that you wrote for them to see. It's fun to use and quite different because your thoughts are shared on the mainstream. At some point, though really short, I think I've become addicted to it.
The main difference between "plurk" and blogging is that blogging is more personal. It's more introspective and reflective. It's more "permanent". Plurking or "plurks" can be tracked back all the way from the start, but it's not really meant for that. It's something like thing of the moment, and it's made for that. It's basically an "update" material.
I love the personal touch of blogs. Though right now, I can't fully appreciate it yet, I believe that my attachment to it, although none is really required by anything or anyone, will be for the long-term, say eternal.
Blogs should be "babied". They should be given extreme personal care. They should be trusted, watched-over carefully, and committed time to. Without those things, they're without life. I hope to baby my blog. I hope to revive my connection to it. To do that, I have to find my reason, and the hidden exceptional purpose in it. Maybe then, I'll have known what to do, and how to do it.