Everthing's Fresh. All is New.

May 9, 2008 -- release of entrance exam results. I'm really waiting for this day to come. Haha.

Before, I used to really GET EXCITED to the point that nothing else matters except that day. As a result, I've been a bum in between the days that I start waiting for it, and the date itself.

Today, it has changed. I'm enjoying every bit, every day spent. The things that I wish for aren't the only good thing in store for me anymore. There are infinite good things that I experience and see, unlike before. Haha. Now, this is what I can call "LIFE". :)

Besides, if I dream, what I get is exceedingly more than what I dream of. I get more than what I can ever think of. That's what life is today. Haha. Keep it coming, life! :)

I have just realized that everything seems to be just new -- residence, school, opportunities. If I think back of what I can do, it only wears me down. Today, there are more opportunities, bigger possibilities. The things that I can do before are at a double today. I can really say that I'm blessed with a fresh start in a lot of things -- how lucky and extremely graced am I.

Enjoy the Day

Whew! A perfect day.

I just got home. Physically tired, but enjoying every drop of weariness.

What makes me say that this day is a perfect one, is because everyday is actually a perfect one, only that we should see it. Normally, we see only the difficulties in a day. We search for things that aren't that heavy. Today, I've seen how great the day is -- through the busy schedule, through the wait, through the work, through everthing.

When I say that this is a perfect day, I'm not saying that everything has gone good to me. No. There were a few bad things here and there, flaws, mistakes that I have committed, yet I still enjoyed the day.

What's better about it is that it's only 3 PM and there's still a lot more to be excited about for the day. Be it good or bad, it shouldn't sink us or make us not think that our day isn't a day worth living.

I AM CONFUSED...

I am confused no more! Life just normally confuses us every now and then to tell us that we need to pause and understand something first. Then, we can move on without any weight to wear us down. ;)

I MISSED YOU...

I really missed Sarah... I began to get tired of listening to her undying music 'cause I know I won't hate it no matter how many times I listen to it -- so I tried looking for other stuff to listen to. She's going to stay there anyway no matter what. Time to search for green pastures for now, my Sarah...

Now, my ears just seem numb and irritated of the other music I have in my library, and there I remembered -- I have Sarah's nga naman pala... Siomai!!!

I clicked the first track, Building a Mystery, and it was BOOM!!! It still ROCKS AS HARD AS EVER!!!

"I missed you, I know you missed me too. Don't worry, I'm gonna stay by you now..."

Sarah!!! >8-)

AT LAST: PERSONAL COMPUTER AND INTERNET -- FIXED!!!

My PC crashed a month ago, or two, because I think the processor got fried due to overnight uses for downloads. Hmmm. I had been a refugee, a vagabond, looking for a computer to use. It was hard, but I adjusted.

var curDiv = document.getElementById('ln0'); curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML); var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName('a'); for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; --i) { if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + "..."; } var curDiv = document.getElementById('ln1'); curDiv.innerHTML = convert2url(curDiv.innerHTML); var links = curDiv.getElementsByTagName('a'); for(var i = links.length; i >= 0; --i) { if(links[i]) links[i].innerHTML = links[i].innerHTML.substr(0,30) + "..."; } Today is different. a few days ago, a friend of ours have just returned the CPU that they borrowed from us (because we took it, actually) a long time ago. I installed a monitor for it and a mouse (and keyboards too, with sounds, etc) and it worked. Unfortunately, everything was different when I last used it. It was very unstable. It turned off after a very short while, processed the commands pretty slow, and other problems appeared.

I tried using it again today, but it just wouldn't work consistently. I fixed it by reformatting it. Viola! It is now working WAY BETTER than it did a few hours earlier. Now, I have even installed the wireless internet card. Haha. Everything's perfect. I can now use the internets again with no hassles. I'm so filthy-happy! BWAHAHA!!! >:)

I'M IN LOVE...

I am SOOO IN LOVE... My playlist is filled with lurve, ehemm, love-songs. Haha. I'm pretty much in love. Yes, indeed. :)

I want love. I need love. I am searching for love. I am WAITING for love...

Definitely, I am in love -- with the idea of love... But, more to that, may I be more in love with more than just the idea of it! :)

DISCLAIMER: Do not worry, there's nobody YET. Haha. I'm just being myself right now (in my room, haha)! I'm just posting this for love's sake, not anyone's. Hahaha. :)

LOVE VS. SEX -- THIS IS REALLY, REALLY TRUE. :)

This is really, really cool. It's no joke. I really, really liked it. Haha. I felt great while reading it. Haha. Read through too. ;)

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to
visit some friends one evening and
time passed quickly as each shared
their various experiences of the
past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned, and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid because it was a
small town and she lived only a few
blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees, Diane asked God to keep
her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was
a short cut to her house, she
decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed a man standing at the end
as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of
quietness and security wrapped round
her, she felt as though someone was
walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she walked right past the man
and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper that a young girl had been
raped in the same alley just twenty
minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy
and the fact that it could have
been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and
to help this young woman, she
decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man,
so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to look at a lineup to see
if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the man she had seen in the
alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been
identified, he immediately broke down
and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her
bravery and asked if there was
anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man
one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either
side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're never alone. Did you know
that 98% of teenagers will not stand
up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you
truly believe in God.


PS: God is always there in your heart
and loves you no matter
what.....and if you stand up for him he
will stand up for you.

I bet 93% of the people that read this
wont repost it.

I read this and reposted it.
Well I bet you read this note because
of the title.. didn't you?

Financial Understanding Test

This test is all about how you create possibilities through the way you think or how you manipulat your skills, and your overall outlook in life which I believe is key to our success.

Regarding the result of my exam, I was pretty much satisfied with it. But, anyway, I DO HOPE AND BELIEVE that my outlooks and my character remains the same or even improve.

Opportunities are yet to come, even at this tender age of incubation. I am assured of my future, especially because I have a strong anchor in life... :)

IQ Test

AND IT SCARED ME COS I THOUGHT I HAD A PRETTY LOW IQ. :'(

It really scares me to take IQ tests because I admit that I'm not that good, and I'm not really that smart (in my own evaluation).

Not until today have I finally decided to take an IQ test to kill my curiosity about what my IQ really is. It was killing me for long already, and it had to stop. I checked a page of a friend (not a personal one) in friendster and I saw an IQ-test link in her page. I decided to check it out.

While I took the exam (and even before I did), I was really worried about what would be the result. I know that it's a shame for me to be so. It just made me remember how scared I was while I was taking the exam. All the while that I was taking the exam yesterday, the fear that I had a pretty low IQ ate me all up. I think it was true and that I had to accept it and live on (and of course, learn) instead of living in denial.

However, I'm posting the result of the IQ test that I took. It's not the highest, but it's okay. I admit that it might just be a true indication of my mental ability.




P.S.

By the way, there' was something wrong, I think, about the results. Hahaha. It had a simple code for the results which can be snooped at and tampered with. Hehe. Take the test too, anyway, if you like too. ;p

Today, I am officially starting to LIVE MY DREAM

I am going to share one of my dreams that I've thought of for a while now, and even before. This moment is just a bit different because I'm finally going to write something as I'm pondering more about it. It is inspired by Robert Kiyosaki through his book, "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", a haven and a treasure-box of lessons about life and enlightening thoughts.

It is not so usual that I discuss what I have in mind right now. Some may think that it's too far-fetched, lofty, hard-to-achieve, and other words to describe it, but, I WANT TO SOMEDAY BE ABLE TO EMPLOY LOTS, THOUSANDS, JUST LOTS OF PEOPLE. It is my dream to be able to provide JOBS FOR THE NEEDY someday. It is also my dream to be somebody who contributes to the betterment of my country through the wise use of my skills and knowledge in creating a "LIVING FOR ALL".

I honestly think that my dreams are not really hard to attain. It only gets difficult when we begin to listen to negative comments, pessimistic ones. If we only believe in what we can do and focus our eyes on what we see in our hearts, and believe that WE CAN, we will certainly have our dreams.

Anyway, I know that there's no harm in WISHING or DREAMING, so today, I am officially starting to LIVE MY DREAM. :)

Respect

Is respect a one-sided thing? Is one party only entitled for it? Since when has it been that the other "inferior" party should lose their dignity as human beings?

What has society made of people? What practices have they imbibed today?

Even people who wish to stray from those kind of practices can't help but be enslaved by them...

My Dreams and Ambitions: What I Wanted to Be

These are the things that I wanted to be back then. It has changed ever since.

The first ambition that I had is being an artist. Back then, when I was still really young, I didn't know how to differentiate an "actor/actress" from an "artist". In tagalog kasi, an "artista" is know to be actors/actresses. Haha. To add up to this, I wanted to create my own anime. Lots of stories and character designs were on my mind. I garnered some glowy recognitions of my own, too, at that age. I had a gold medal from an "on-the-spot drawing contest" that I can never forget. I was a top in arts from every class I entered. At least I felt so, until it faded slowly and slowly while I was growing up. My interest, because of the achievement, and the impatience, slowly disintegrated. That was me ages ago. :)

When I had the mind about things around me: the sciences and fictions going all around, the info about clones, robots, all influenced by movies, I geared up with a new ambition. I wanted to be a Genetic Engineer. At my young age, still in my elementaries, I knew the course offerings of UP Diliman, and I guess one of it is Genetic Engineering. I knew because my parents and my older brothers back then were from UP Diliman. I had a mindset that I would study there too. People say that I'm very smart anyway. I was confident.

I was confident in my childhood days; too confident that studying had not been my interest, not even once. I never figured out what studying is all about. I only knew school; that it's a number-of-years-wait, and after that, you get what you want. I was a kid with little knowledge of what's really going on that the only thing that I had was my dream of what I'll be in the future.

I studied on throughout my elementaries and, not to be expected, I didn't graduate with any honour, award, or recognition. No flying colours. It was fine with me since It's not my dream that we were talking about anyway. I still have my dream and I'm still on my way onto reaching it. Just a few more years, 4 years in High School, and another 4 or 5 in College. That's all I needed; at least that's what I thought before.

When I stepped in High School, I returned to Colegio San Agustin (CSA) where people knew me. I was a student here before and I knew lots of people studying in the same school. I didn't want to return there anyway; my parents were the only ones that wanted me to. They say that it's the best school. Upon coming back, many greeted me and was quite excited to have me back in CSA; at least I thought of it that way. I felt that I'm a popular person. It's something good to think anyway -- to give yourself some importance, make yourself something special to others, even though in reality, by yourself alone.

Back when I was in high school, I used to counsel my peers, give good and awesome advice, know beforehand what and how others around me feel, and really undestand just about everybody around. Through it, I've gained some good friends. Empathy.

I remember back then that one of my favorite albums was "Empathy" by Mandalay: an ambient, trip-hop band. I don't know how this is related, though. Haha. Sorry! :D

My dreams have changed again. I wanted to be a psychologist. I used to dream of entering UP Manila and taking up Behavioural Sciences. After graduating with such degree, I plan on being a school guidance counselor, climb up my way in being a school principal, and/or own my own school in the end. I also wanted to be a professor because I believed in forming the youth into great people. Haha. That was one of my dreams or ambitions before.

Upon entering college, in the middle to late years of High School life, my dad injected to me the idea of being an Electronics and Communications Engineer. He said that it was an in-demand course and that it was a high paying job. I think, he already wanted that for me even at my early years of high school, aside from being a medical doctor. I, too, made myself comfortable with the thought of being an ECEngineer. I was a big music lover back then, and I was beginning on planning to focus myself to digital audio system designs, layouting, programming, and the like. I was into Hillsong stuff, sound system stuff, and other digital system stuff that I was eager of learning "soon" (supposed to be) in the future.

My dad also wanted me to be a medical doctor, if possible. He was calculating the costs one time when he was telling me what he wanted or at least dreamt for one of his kids. He says that it would still pay of anyway in the long run. He has this good fancy about a man of God (a person that God uses in miracles) that was a medical doctor. That man was used by God in miracles many times. Many got healed, and miracles uncountable. That was a noble dream. I took it in mind, too. Being a doctor, in my knowledge that time, was quite a name, a title. It was pleasing to the ears. The only thing that I feared about being a doctor is the ones that are happening in the TV shows -- the emergencies, the drama, the blood. I don't think that I can handle putting another person's fragile life in my own hands that much. But, if in miracles, I could. I'm not feeble-brained either and I did good in my biology days while on 2nd year high school and I enjoyed it, not to mention me fighting with my biology teacher back then, turning her into my worst enemy before. Don't worry, before that year ended, everything turned back to normal. ;)

I still had other things in mind; other ambitions that I fancied, titles that glowed in the dark while I was in my bed thinking of what I wanna become. I wanted to be a lawyer, if not, an accountant, if not, a philosopher that writes books, vanities. I considered nursing due to my Aunty/Godmother's insistent request. She was a nurse, too. No wonder. The money pays good either. It was quite a pretty good deal, only that it's not what I wanted in terms of fulfillment.

Today, in my college days, I've realized who I am, the things I can do, and the things that I have. I'm still dreaming of things to happen, but now I've realized, it's not all about what you're dreaming. It's about what you're willing to be and how far you'll work to be able to get it. Work hard. It was my innocence back then that made me dream alone without knowing who I am. For that, I didn't enjoy the process that I went through all along.

Possibilities are infinite. Shoot for the best. Do not be too definite or sure of something because it might, in a single moment, fly away. In the end, it's all the same: achievement or nothingness. You can have it all, but maybe, not just the way you wanted it to exactly be. ;)

Crush

Your presence makes me crazy
It puts butterflies in my belly
It's funny cos it's true

I become insecure and silly
I'm freezing in your beauty
Whenever I'm with you

I pretend when your around
I try not to make a sound
I'm tame though I'm a hound

My feet're steady on the ground
When I talk, I stutter pretty loud
I feel my soul is bound

I don't know but it's just different
When I'm around my girl-friends
And when I'm with you

It's odd and inconsistent
With you I'm not so confident
Can't move, I'm stuck in glue

I guess they call it "crush"
A feel that gives a rush
Which tickles us inside

I try to hide my blush
I hide up all this trash
And just breathe out with a smile :)

Finally...

Finally, I have updated my friendster! Wahhh!!! :'( *tears of joy and drama*

Check it out here:

http://profiles.friendster.com/matcieou7th

And, the first time after months to visit my own page. At last, busy days are turning to be over! Bwahaha! >:)

"Sometimes"

Sometimes, people think too much of others... that they forget theirselves and their own welfare... that they lose their soul, their name...

"I've cared too much"

I've cared too much (about "you").

Now, I've realized, I don't really do care and that I don't know why I even did in the first place. Now, I'm on my own. I'm done caring for the things that doesn't really deserve my attention.

So, you're good. It's a given. What now after that? I don't see myself full and satisfied at your goodness. I can't and don't see how I will profit by and with it anyway. I don't even know you, or even if I do (or did), what is it to me?

People pass and go, and you don't really know who stays long. And those people who do probably aren't even in our life yet. What's next? What awaits our future? Uncertainty?

...

I don't think it's uncertainty... I just wanna call it "a perfect plan" that our minds cannot (and I do not even wish to) comprehend or fathom. I realize that [*there are] good things [*that] get better through surprises... :)

Lies

I just "saw", no, maybe read something that I didn't really like. How am I to react? You might, if you were in my position, ask, "where is justice in the world?".

I believe justice exists -- the mere fact that we are aware of its seemingly absence, there it is.

Think of it -- is justice laid on a silver spoon? When has it, in reality, ever been like that? You know the "absence" of justice. How were you able to know it? You have eyes, ears, lips, hands and feet. Should you use it?

Hear-says. The most effortful way of gaining and attaining knowledge. Oh, I can't force everyone else to believe in what I believe in. I just hope that at least in myself, I believe right.

I wanna be a SUPERHERO

They have always said that we must "save the best for last". For me, it has become an erring principle. It has been malpracticed and/or at least, it has so far done too much damage than good in my life.

Don't put in store the things that must be done -- that is what I have learned. The more you get chances, the more you grab it. The reason why so many talented, skilled, and able people miss out on the very narrow chances of being in the spotlight is that they don't have the connections, and they "pass on" the chance for the reasons as follows: a.) be-humble-effect, b.) save-the-best-for-last.

We have just discussed in my Logic class the different kinds of Logical fallacies. One of the fallacies, named "the fallacy of accident" says that there is a fallacy committed if a general principle is applied to special cases. For example: a child was asked by his dad to stay in their house and not to leave until he returns. When the house where the child was on fire, the child, knowing that his dad commanded him to "stay" didn't move at all. As a result, oh, just guess what happened.

Some superhero might have saved that child's life, you might say. But, come to think of it, superheroes are not so common these days. We are in great need of superheroes... Define superhero -- the Jack-of-all-trades type of person who, though in all kinds of stresses and distress, still manage to do everything that needs to be done, is there for everyone that people think they don't have problems of their own, and are looked upon highly of others. Why? Cos they CHOSE TO BE SUPERHEROES. What is a superheroes life anyway? What are the decisions that they make? Are they just made superheroes for us to watch them? No. They are made superheroes because they chose to UTILIZE CAREFULLY and practically (maybe) the things that they can do and the things that they are. We are all the same, in some degree, and we must grab that chance to be a superhero in our own right too.

You can call it a superhero, a talent, a leader, a star, an "unreachable" or whatever, but I choose to call them "people who chose to believe in the things that has been given to them by God Divine."

Just don't let you brain die up on you

You may feel down, disappointed and grounded
But you shouldn't give up
You may feel like everything's crashing down on you
But you shouldn't walk out
You may feel that you're going nowhere
But know that you're on track
You may feel that it's just too much
But you just have to realize that you can do it
You may feel really tired
But you just have to see that you've gone far

Whenever you feel that all this is happening
The more you stand up
Whenever your insides wage war against you
The more you keep yourself intact
Whenever the word is all shaking
The more you get strong
Whenever you're sunk so low
The more should you see and have fun
Whenever you're running after a fearful deadline
The more you should give your best

And all these will fix itself
Just neer give up
Just don't let your brain die up on you
And let the rest be history... ;-,