Silenced

I am silenced, I've got nothing left to say
What you did hovered me, surrounded me over and over
Made me feel dizzy and useless inside
I've got no hope left, no reason to live either
Why's this happening? I ask my self every moment I breathe in air

I'm waiting for an answer to my hopes, that this is just a test
A dream maybe, waiting for me to wake up
Or maybe just a joke, that you wanted me to laugh on
But it seems so real, I feel it inside my skin
It hurts like nothing I've ever felt, an incomparable feeling

I still wait, inside me there's someone talking
Telling me the reasons why you went away
Tells me it's my fault that I wasn't strong enough
I enjoyed too much, when it was you I should've given joy
It feels so unreasonable, yet foolish. I am a fool

I pray at night, at the dark
Hoping for a miracle to bring you back
Or maybe I didn't pray well enough
Tells a lot why you're still not here with me
Maybe I should keep silent, think things over

You were right, there was something wrong
You've got all the reasons not to be strong
I deserve what you did, you've done what was right
I want to learn, stop being a fool
To think I was the one who tell you not to be

I should've looked in the mirror to see clearly
And so to understand more deeply
If it is also possible to roll back the words I've let in the air
Act like you didn't hear a thing, so much like an err
But you reply, you said it scarred, you said it's no lie

I am scared yet I shouldn't be
This is not how I'm supposed to be
I'll just pretend again, or I'll just forget
Maybe then, you'll do too
And things will be the way they were...